Thursday, 9 February 2017


dogshit revolving door funny failGot another SATs exam result back - Mathematics. Normally I get 38 or 39 out of 40 which would be entirely acceptable, but have never achieved the perfect 40. This time I got 34 - and all because of a silly mistake where you don't put the comma in the right place so you use 2,500 instead of 25,000 and get the answer wrong: most galling.
And in a highly fishy development (I won't carp on about it) Child A sat next to the Maths Champion who always gets 40 and got up to sharpen his pencil an awful lot during the test and got 39, where he would normally be expected to get 25.
So in honour of my class-topping English victory earlier in the week, I have decided to write a Showergel Opera (because soap can dry the skin).
Follow the devious storylines and hilarious goings-on at foreign-owned city-centre supermarket Lildi! Cry as shelf-stacker Piotr gets paid in Euros for the 4th week running! Sing along as genial loading bay operatives Aleksandr and Romas sing rousing medleys of comradely worker-marches straight from Babushka's knee! Will Mateusz the Manager get to do overtime with Aurelija or will she go back to ex-employee Darius? Will Arad and Giannis realize they are perfect for each other in a country where their love is not a burn-at-the-stake offence? Have your heart warmed by Thibault who proves that you don't have to have a face like a ferret chewing a wasp to work in stores! Meet sole local employees 'Dave', the man with the big house because of the industrial injury and for whom Thursday is deodorant day, and disgruntled former railway worker 'Mark' who will never get over the loss of his dream job and will never cease to grumble about it!
Cheer as the Lildi team, once separated by continents and cultures, are brought together by the challenges of the National Minimum Wage and Houses of Multiple Occupancy!

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