Golf? It's a Piece of Cake

Today was Easter Cake day. Jof brought me to school, triumphant in procession with the cake tin held high, I only needed a Roman Emperor costume and maybe some of those chaps with the long trumpets with flags on.
Our team activity for the day was the Tri-golf tournament. Seven teams from several schools competed in the whopping great gymnasium in Rubys' school.
We had to chip the ball, hit it and otherwise land it in bands, near the pin, as far as possible, and on the bullseye target.
I personally did well and scored lots. But the oafs on my team dragged me back with their chronic ineptitude and we came last. Last! O, the humiliation. Our other team came 6th (out of 7) so the Meon Mingers came home with nary a medal between us, and a lingering aroma of golf oil and broccoli.
Fresh from this defeat, I ran out (last of the class) into the playground at let-out time to find a crowd at one end. I asked where the cake stall was; Bud indicated the crowd. I could not be sure so I asked a teacher, who indicated the crowd.
I got into the queue. The cakes were being sold off in aid of school funds and I was at the back, holding a £20 note, enough to retire to my own cake in the country. By the time I had got to the front of the queue and actually attracted the attention of one of the serving wenches, all the decent cake had gone, and all that remained was pink fairy cake and some nests with rabbits, that were plastic. Despondently, I slouched off with naught but a promise of chocolate at home. Don't send me up to the bar, I'd suggest, even if I do have a £20 note.
Due to not listening to instructions properly, Thursday Park was on again and I played with 2 classmates. Our first task was to bury the support strut of the swinging basket: as it stands over 8 feet high we would have needed a bulldozer but gamely did the terrier dig-a-dog-a-dug shuffle until the JBs asked me to play football.
When they had to go, Ben and I had a picnic feast and taught each other to die convincingly for our film careers. Unbeknownst to us, the Police were circling the park looking for a real actual stranger-danger who had been loitering with intent to molest, and all the adults threw a cordon of security around the park which is standing around looking worried.