Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Ban Pan Haggerty!

methylamphetamine fail cartoonSchool was normal-ish: we were all throwing apples to each other and you know the way they bruise and go brown and squishy inside, well these 2 certainly did. When Child A bit into one it was a giant Bloo-aargh into the bin in a flurry of spittle and misguided youth. And when Child B threw one against the French room window in a fit of anger, it went Booosh all over the window in a satisfying boom of depth and splattering. But it also fractured the window, leading to another fine for his parents. The Church of Holistic Serendipity with Soothsaying and Portents© we ain't.
Later, we had a school-wide suggestions session for what to improve in the school using school funds.
star wars oral-b stages power electric toothbrushYou know the way in those clever office environments, they have a confidential document paper shredder, where somebody's put a sticker on saying "Suggestions Box"? Well, this was much the same thing, as every idea was met with the 'no money' response. So then we had to make suggestions for how to raise the money to Astroturf the football pitch, have gardening lessons for the Year 6s, or have enough fuel for the central heating boiler. Perhaps we should let Child B loose and fine his parents some more. Our best idea so far is the art gallery, where we confidently assume that all 400 or so of our paintings will be sold to a gallant and gullible public for between £10 and £40.
My dentist said I could have an electric toothbrush, nothing to do with laziness, honest. So one was purchased and it's got one of those shaver-point plugs which doesn't work in anything else: we don't have a shaver point in the bathroom. So, with a new proper plug attached, I will have to brush downstairs with the wretched thing plugged into the socket under the boiler. At least I can sing into the hoover shaft like a microphone.
At suppertime the adults had 'Pan Haggerty' which is apparently onion, mega-cabbage, garlic and potato mixed up and partially cooked, from a recipe from Jof's Fat Club meeting. It was as good as it sounds and they ditched the whole lot into the bin as I gaily finished off my Cottage Pie, laughing the whole way to pudding.

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