Want: Muffin. Get: Nuffin.

All the usual stuff in school today, fractions, friction and distraction. The friction was in PE where our team-building exercises were even worse than usual, my team had SelfishGirl and CrunchyGirl (nice on the outside, crunchy on the inside) which hobbled us completely. The distraction was not mine, but some of my colleagues who will have to complete their unfinished work at home this weekend, Ha!

And we got a rather groovy flyer for the Art Gallery at the Pyramids (everyone in the school has made an artwork for it) that was designed by Erin, lots of colour and quality although the girls could be happier. We still have a flyer from the Year 3 school play that she drew, maybe she'll become a graphic designer one day. The school is hoping that generous parents will take pity and buy their kiddies' artworks to raise money for school funds, although I can't imagine they'll say buy it or we'll burn it. And there was the advert for Meet Santa at Lumps Fort Miniature Village which Ben and I successfully attended 6 years ago but I now reckon is a bit young.

But then I made an impassioned speech about the upcoming Victorian Festival of christmas and said I'll be appearing on all 3 days as a Victorian Street Performer and everybody should come and see it, because it is a momentous local festive event with lights and reindeer and santas and stalls and me and some other actors and mulled wine and mullered winos and beer tents and music and whores and fake snow and that whiffy cheese that matures in a cave and it'll be epic.

I also brought home the menu for the christmas lunch and had to choose between Chocolate Muffin and Chocolate ice cream and I chose muffin and he said I was allowed a pudding and I didn't have to have nuffin but he'd put me down for it and that is why we hate parents, because they are all spanners.

At home I made my Lego drone (non-functional demo model) for the Lego Robotics challenge. It is grey and has big claws but does not gestate from a face-hugger.

Also I tried on my new Scout belt which will make me super-smart if I ever choose to be, I'd be lucky to have some old twine to hold up my Victorian britches in the festival of christmas, it's alright for some. Incidentally, the lady in the GIF laughing at the stupid kid stuck in a footstool looks familiar. I went through my lines for the Festival and gosh, I seem to be good at something. As well as all the rest of the stuff.

And a special shout out (hoho) to all those drunken students screaming and fighting on the pavement outside at 0100 last night, ps you've left some vomit behind, please come back and retrieve it.