Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Goldilocks and the Genius

cosplay barney dinosaur in pubA much easier journey to school today as I got a lift in. This is because of the Lego Drone model which made it safely into the Robotics laboratory for the presentation tomorrow.
lego robotics competition first lego leagueWe continued with our autopsy of a court case in which Goldilocks is accused of trespass, criminal damage, theft of wholesome oaty breakfast provender, and rampant ongoing perjury. The accused was discovered asleep upstairs in a house which had been broken into and ransacked, with traces of oatmeal around her mouth, fragments of window glass on her dress, and with a single trail of child-sized footprints leading upstairs from the kitchen.
The accused pled not guilty and suggested that she had been training for a half-marathon with Baby Bear (who denies knowing the accused) and was asleep from her exertions: furthermore, any breaking and entering, and porridge consumption must have taken place while she was asleep, and by persons unknown not yet apprehended by the authorities.
self-tape audition on home cameraWhile Goldilocks looks about as guilty as Hitler posing under the Arc de Triomphe, she has lawyers and they are preparing their defence: we can't wait to see how it turns out. Maybe there will be a surprise witness, an undiscovered twin, some inadmissible evidence following a botched illegal search, or maybe Daddy Bear will drop the charges, admitting Goldilocks is his secret love child.
Anyway, once I'd had a Snack-For-A-Growing-Boy™, I read through the script sent by my agent and we set up the camera on a 4 1/2 inch shell casing on a chair (the right height), with an idiot board stuck to the shelf behind, and we rattled off the screen test in 1 minute and 2 seconds. I played some crowd called Einstein, aged 10, who shows off his knowledge of pi and worries about his future as World War 1 breaks out.
Now, we all know that a ten year-old Einstein did not speak English with a dodgy German accent, for he spoke German. So I sensibly took his lead and also did not speak English with a dodgy German accent, because I sounded like Doofenschmirtz on acid.

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