Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Fingering a Drugged Blonde

use condom advert in magazine trendy young thingsThe most important thing about today for me was the presentation to the headmaster. He sat in judgement while my Robotics team made our speeches, performed our sketch and demonstrated our Lego Robot with multifunctional tool head.
So we did our run-through and everybody liked my demo drone model but our presentation came in at one and a half minutes over time.
This means we had to cut some script so we redacted the biggest paragraph but we were still a minute too long, so we'll have to look again at the whole performance and wield the knife more cruelly, just as long as my scenes don't end up on the cutting room floor.
In Wordsmithing, we were encouraged to write more posh, like, with constructions such as Had I considered this, I might have decided that, and the if ... then and I suggest that variants in which I wrote that if I was a penguin, then I would eat fish.
On a more topical note, I also said that if I was an adult, then I would try to decapitate Donald Trump, and I suggest more people try to assassinate Donald Trump, which is incitement to riot, a proper crime.
royal bank of scotland coroporate giftSpeaking of which, we continued with the trial of Goldilocks: could it have been an inside job? New information has come to light that suggests Baby Bear was in on it: he invited Goldilocks round at a pre-arranged time, left bowls of porridge drugged with Rohypnol out for the taking, and while Goldilocks was asleep upstairs, trashed his own apartment and left a trail of phony evidence.
Thus when the Family Bear returned from doing whatever bears do in the woods, he was able to evince false outrage and finger Goldilocks, who had no memory of the incident and conveniently attempted to flee the scene when woken up by 3 angry bears. Can we establish a motive? Does Baby Bear have a cast-iron alibi? Is the Pope catholic? Tune in tomorrow for the next thrilling instalment...
I spent an hour practising swordsmanship with extra blood-curdling snarls in my bedroom until Jof got home with a really big bouquet, a reward for doing so much in her works quiz, apparently.

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