So I took in ten batches of Pokémon cards to school today as planned, carefully bagged up in those little zip-top bags that you find on the pavement when those silly people have dropped their special herbs.
I gave away the first 3 bags easily. But after that, the word got around, and at break-time, I was mobbed by hordes of eager card players all wanting to upgrade their collections. Having created each pack randomly, and planned to dole them out randomly, I was trying to be a blameless benefactor but when guys started saying he's got a better Mewtwo than me and how come my pack doesn't have a Trimbapoo like his, it all got a bit complicated. I should take the rest in on Tuesday and have done with it.
So in the afternoon I played Klash of Klans Royale instead, because sometimes you don't want a quarter pounder.
Even later, I had pasta with Double Cheese Upgrade sauce, garlic ciabatta and mixed peas/sweetcorn. So what is this magic sauce, I hear you cry? Well, let's go back to basics. When a traditional public schoolboy meets the tragic reality of actual real life, his first questions are Where is my food, and Why has my laundry not been done.
These are reasonable questions for those who have not had enough spanking, or maybe the spanking of the right sort. So after a period of starvation and Chinese take-aways, the lost schoolboy will either read a cooking manual or make an alliance with some pliable female who thinks (probably incorrectly) that she will be recompensed in the long term. In our case, Jof taught Bud to make a cheese sauce, like her Lancastrian ancestors. But, now that Jof has to have sensible meals of minimal calories, Bud has to make sufficiently interesting cheese sauce to fill my demanding tummy: all hail the Upgrade.
It is not enough that your sauce has ketchup mixed within: it must also have chopped prawns, or in this case, diced ham. Only then will the deserving child absorb so much that he can barely fit in 2 kiwi fruits and a custard before the main evening milk. It's a tough life.