The Milk Round 2

You know where the maths question is 6 times something and you work it out correctly, and then the next one is 66 times something and you do the same sum twice and add up the results but forget to move the decimal point and you get the next 2 wrong as well for the same error? Mmmm.

Anyway, today in English we had to choose a picture and do thought bubbles coming from it with loads of descriptive stuff. It was one of those no-wrong-answers things, as long as you waxed lyrical you'd be fine. I wiffled on about the glistening surface of the water under the rusty-copper coloured bridge and the teacher said I'd be improving my attainment levels in my school reports.

For relaxation I continued the Mineworld I created with Sham but then it was all rush-rush-rush when Jof got home because we had to assess another school. I saw a perfectly good one yesterday but they insisted I try out another one because you can't compare using an assumption.

So off we strode to the school by the station and hey presto, we saw 37 faces we knew but this tour was different. Yesterday we were allocated an official guide but due to MI6 losing-your-tail spooks training we ditched him in 12 seconds flat. Tonight was different, they had 2 tour guides per grouping and it took us several minutes to lose them and struck out on our own.

But strike out we did. Food and Textiles (an obvious pairing) was groovy because you could squirt icing on a biscuit. I did that: Bud ate his first mealworms at the Entomophagy table but was able to get a fruit salad from the use-of-knives table to wash away the taste.

Maths was on the top floor, away from the official route and then we found Pops in the history of Computers room, with clunky computers from the 1980s and one of the PS2 keyboards we've got and the 8 inch floppies and stuff.

In the woodworking room we saw another 3D printer and I sawed away at a brass rod with a hacksaw and played Ping-Pong football with little robots and met Alannah which is why I don't want to go to this school.

I used to do gymnastics and trampolining in the large gymnasia so that was a blast from the past and the drama room was small but full of girls in leotards. The PE teacher tried to get me to do some sprint racing on the outdoor courts, he obviously doesn't know me.

Sneaking off to the older part of the complex we met a toilet with a rotunda of taps like the one Moaning Myrtle haunts and a cafeteria with racing-car seats and lots of staircases leading to a massive internal atrium of style and echoes.

They had a hand grenade, Vickers MG, Lee-Enfield and some medals and flags of wartime pupils past. I played guess-the-location on streetview of Google Earth, most of it was in the USA but once I confidently placed the marker on Greenland and it was Brisbane.

The other side had some replica Shogun kit and a 77 millimetre Imperial German shell dated 1917 just like ours and some shrapnel rounds and a Winchester breech-loader and a harquebus and some swords.

Then we found the animals room and the orange and yellow geckoes were groovy with tickly feet and the pretend coral snake was pretty and the Royal Python was gorgeous with his markings and triangular face, he stuck his tongue out at me. The African land snail was static as was another fat reptile but next door was a 5 month-old raccoon and a fox!

The 'coon was allowed to run over the desks and take grapes from waiting hands but not mine. We'd totally lost Jof so I obtained some official pencils and pens and we left by the gym fire escape and got home to find that we'd left the back door open the whole time.

She wants me to go to this school, because the head teacher's speech was better. We missed that, because we were meeting snakes.