Is it Art or is it Pr0n?

Our new topic is Art. Not just the Art where you splodge browny-purple paint that has been mixed together by generations of primary school pupils and insist it is your favourite Granny, or daub that gooey glue that rubs off into little grey sausages all over the desk and then drop all the glitter on the floor anyway, or get an adult to staple 2 toilet roll tubes to a Pringles lid and call it a particle accelerator.

This is ART. So for tasters we had to go onto a special website full of stock copyright-free images to see what style of art we liked, and then to download a dozen or so representative images from which we would design our own picture, in our chosen style.

We are led to believe there will be a special gallery: some of us reckon it will be a hired venue, some assume it will just be the assembly hall again. I gathered images of castles and trees and nature, because even though I am a city boy, I do like a bit of naturism and who can argue with castles, just saying.

But Child A near me spent the whole lesson searching the special area for niches and clefts, getting a picture of a couple making sexytime, a naked girl in a doorway with her bits out and everything, and a girl on a sunbed a la mode. This website, you see, is for adults (or at least, not age-restricted) so all styles are available: access is dependent on our USERIDs so only Year 6s can get on it. We have been specifically told that if there are willies and boobies and jigglies and wobblies then there will be rippy-uppies and tears before bedtime. But is it art? A certain amount of artistry was involved.

Later, I went to Cub Scouts where I was awarded the Chief Scout's Super Silver Award Badge which is the highest you can get in Cubs. I already have the Bronze award from Beavers (pinned on me personally by the Lord Mayor), and confidently predict that I will still be there in 4 more years getting Gold Awards and moving on to Explorer Mega-Scouts.