Saturday, 24 September 2016

Be Prepared (You never know when there'll be an Execution)

Said goodbye to Jof as she left for work and got down to some work myself, which was extending the curtain wall around the castle that Sham and I are building. We have a plan, to grow wheat and cows and tomatoes and pigs, trade them for emeralds, and buy lots of OP armour before switching our world over to Survival Mode. I am able to expound on this for hours, going into impressive detail, but as it is meaningless and unimportant to anybody except us, I shan't.
Incredibly, Sham himself came round to join in. I showed him all the hard work I'd done and we agreed on the next stage of our totally imaginary cyber-endeavour, but then he had to go, because I had to go to Acting.
1st clanfield scouts and brownies groupToday our lesson was outside because the theatre itself was being used as a wedding venue. This is so when the married couple hate each other, they can say I was just acting at our wedding, I don't love you really.
We played games and had to make a machine. Because the new boy was called Charlie, we made a chocolate machine out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
And then my personal chauffeur drove me straight to Clanfield. My Scout Group had booked the Scout Hut there for a sleepover: the rest of them hiked over the hill from Butser but I didn't have to, because of Acting, hooray. So I was delivered direct to the Hut, and we unloaded a carful of campfire wood (including an execution chair for the loser) with the help of an army of Cub Scouts, that's what they're for.
1st clanfield scouts and brownies group hut hyden lodgeBut the word HUT is wrong. They used to have a wooden hut, on nearly 2 acres of land donated by the local farmer, but it was burned down by vandals (Not Huns or Visigoths). Scouts are always insured so after a bit of extra fund-raising, they built a new hut which is in fact a mansion. You could play cricket in it. The South Wing has numerous toilets, shower facilities, gym, sauna, cinema, swimming pool complex and large kitchen with additional Chinese Laundry. The Great Hall with Minstrel's Gallery has vast barn-conversion-style windows, with store-rooms, vault, indoor sand school for the horses, staff flats, observatory and workshop.
The outside has a football pitch, HaHa, HoHo, Elizabethan Knot Garden and campfire area over near the container-ship container and is bordered by fields, and there's off-road parking for 9 vehicles with fold-out helipad, all down a dead-end road where everyone owns a Range Rover. We are officially jealous. But when we'd arrived the fun really started. They loved the 4 procession torches but incredibly they may put the ritual execution of the Disaster Dollies to the vote. Apparently our Nazi-style lynching may go down better with the more brutal Scouts, as some of the Cubs are still a little wet behind the brains. Never mind, there will always be Disaster Dollies in the charity shops of this world.

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