The official nurse measured me recently as part of the purge of childhood obesity, I think they're looking for sources of animal fats for the poorly funded Government wick-lamps for when the Zombie apocalypse comes and the power goes off. Even though some parents who shall remain nameless tell me I'm plump, I only just scraped into the slim end of normal, so there, actually.
And then my perennially boring life took a turn for the dull again as I packed my own rucksacks with my Scout camping kit for the overnight camp tomorrow. On the one hand, it's amazing just how much clobber you're told you need. But then again, it's amazing how a toilet error or unexpected ditchful of muddy water can just eat away at your clothing supplies. The Scout Group Quartermaster has arranged a healthy supply of fuel units for the campfire.
My mate of 7 years 'Ben' invited me up to the common (Ben's Bumpy Paths, a source of blackberries and nettle soup) for some bike action. This event was put in serious jeopardy when during the voted-for football match, he swung his foot at the ball just when someone else did, and he destroyed a drainpipe and kicked the brick wall behind it. Fortunately his foot survived. The diggers have been digging away frantically these last several months improving the sea-wall flood defences. Some of it has now been reopened, and the challenge was on to scramble our bikes up and down the freshly dug mounds.
I arrived top haste by bike and we did a leisurely circuit of the vast neatly-smoothed expanse. Signs every 7 yards told us to keep off the screeded slopes because they were newly planted with seeds of indigenous life-forms, so we mostly did, because the path was so wide and smooth it was a delight to traverse.
On our way back we saw the heads of our target friends over the causeway and we reacquired them at the second junction. Ben and Charlie-from-up-the-road (that's his name) have BMX bikes so we all swapped around to try each others out. Johnny joined us. The shadows were long but conditions were ideal.
The slopes were good and the others may be a little more in-yer-face BMX cunning stunters with their handbrake turns and jumps but it was totally worth it riding free across the prairie with my mates under the endless sky.