Today at work we took a public bus to the King's Theatre where I got on telly again last year, and attended the Book Awards, together with about 3000 other local kids.
I got a certificate saying I'd personally chosen the winning book (Half a Man) and then - a cataclysmic numerical coincidence on National Lottery scales - the winning author himself turned up!
He kindly explained about a family member who flew Spitfires during the war and who crashed into the bridge of an aircraft carrier causing him to lose half his face because he was on fire and had to jump into the sea, hence the book title.
Once we'd had our lunch in the park, we had time to continue our stop-motion filming. Here we see our 3 characters, each with his own unique disability, qualifying him for entry into the Paralympics, each with his own avatar for the swimming scene, where you can't be expected to see their faces because Lego minifigures don't bend that way.
From the left, we start with our hero, Legolas. He is the man who has mechanical legs following his unscheduled meeting with an anti-personnel mine during a military engagement, shown here in the war scene on the left, which uses many of my favourite bits of Lego army kit.
In the middle is Conor who has lost his right hand in a freak monkey-spanking incident, but does have breasts, a combination sure to reduce power but increase drag in any swimming competition. The smart money is not on him.
On the right is Ronald McDonald who has compression of the cervical vertebrae and subsequent curvature of the spine due to the sheer weight of his enormous hair. Eagle-eyed readers will notice that he is approximately 4 times the size of the other competitors, suggesting that he may be a eunuch, but this may not in itself be a qualifying disability. We should get him to sing the anthem, though.
Here I am showing both sets of scenery for scale. On the wall behind me is a running track representing Olympic ideals and how they set standards by which we can live our lives.
During my own able-bodied swimming lesson I had to pull out with crippling gut pains which Jof blamed on my afternoon snack.
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