Distancing myself .... at a Distance

Although I don’t know it, at the dawn of my life

My time’s all my own, until I find a wife

The times they are changing, as am I, day by day

I’m nearly grown up now, gotta be on my way

For health, wealth and laughter, and some of the spanking

It’s my hard-working parents I should be thanking

For the food in my gut and the gleam in my eye

So kiss my holy ring, and kiss my butt goodbye

Well today it rained quite a lot but we didn't mind. It's also the day of the inter-school disco. Normally, I don't like discos because it's hot and bangy and I don't like the hot dogs anyway and you're not allowed outside because there's not enough teachers to supervise you so you have to stay inside where it's hot and bangy. But did this one go any better? We all cheered at England winning. I'll be home tomorrow.

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Today we played "Earthquake" (or Fartquake) in which you are first responders at a natural disaster such as a nuclear power station meltdown or some kind of seismic disturbance and your team has to clamber over the shattered terrain with several pieces of kit including, but not restricted to, a giant shovel, a baby, a ladder, a clipboard, a ration box and a first aid kit.

Dropping any of it down a crevasse, Scylla and Charybdis, or into the gravel pits or lava pits is bad, as is losing any team members to the same fate. There was also a darkened tunnel called the Sewer, a water obstacle with swinging rope and climbing wall.

Of course this was all splendid for us as we had Big Jim and Fridge Fraser on our side who are tall and strong and I was demo-model for the rope swing and nobody got left behind and I suspect this is the one thing that everyone will remember the most. Plus we were against Nightingale School who were all Year 4s.

It is rumoured that in the super-gucky water-pit under the swinging rope, a £50 note is hidden. I can categorically tell you that this is total buttocks. If there was, it would have dissolved in the dreaded scumble-juice contained therein: one of our number fell in for 2 seconds only and came out bright (and strangely) brown.

In the evening we did the 'S Factor' in which each dorm has to make up and perform a song and we did one based on the Lion Sleeps Tonight eeoo-eoo wum bumbelaaaay, only we did the Fox sleeps tonight oo-er Mr Scarborough because he was one of the teachers. We got, like, half a point and another team got 9/10 because they all said they loved Mr Scarborough in their song, load of old cheats.