Pooh Logs

I was up first as usual and eventually Servant #1 fed me a boiled chicken ovulation with toastie soldiers of varying ranks and I was ready to do absolutely nothing for another whole day.

But then he demanded I go out into the yard at 1pm where we had a stilted discussion about how to make a curtain pole go vertical, I had to be prompted about using a plumb line. But I did know how long its shadow would be - zero, due to proximity to the solstice. Unfortunately, there was 100% cloud coverage so nobody had a shadow. Thus another one of Grandads' special projects came to naught.

Then he said don't get comfortable, we're going out. I got rightly miffed because I'd already missed 3 minutes of Minecraft with the pole experiment and we nearly had a sulkathon but not quite. The local radio had told us that the Virgin Kite-Surfing Armada was going to have a crack at a world record by getting more than 415 Kite-surfers up at once. Since the demise of the Hayling Ferry we haven't been over there and we're not driving millions of miles down their one poxy winding road to pay loads to park on their windswept seafront. But you can get a good view of it from Fort Cumberland - either on the nudist beach side, or the sewage pumping station side. Mmm, what a choice.

Now, I have exposed myself at the nudist beach and I have personally contributed to the sewage-pumping outflow and I have hopped the fence to gain entry to Fort Cumberland so none of this presents a problem for me.

We cycled down there, ditching Jof after about 37 yards as she kept stopping to talk to people. Did I mention how much I love my new bike? Anyway, it was high tide so the long sewage pipe where the fishermen stand was completely submerged so we sought out the area where the sea had washed away some of the cliff and sea defences. Ignoring the fences and keep out signs, we hopped around on the twisted and tortured concrete blocks and only turned back at the razor wire. Then Jof joined us and we noticed the massive tidal flow exiting the lagoon. It makes severe currents and so we found sticks and bits of driftwood on the beach and played PoohSticks, while jetskis and motor boats and yachts fought the currents behind us.

This became a challenge so we searched further afield and found lots of bits of burnt wood and bits of house and then Bud impaled a cuttlefish bone with a bamboo pole and we threw that in and played Pooh-Logs but not Pooh-Bottles because we said it had to be biodegradable or recyclable material. Sometimes they get stuck on the seaweed or go backwards in eddies so there was much laughter and I suppose by now, our impaled cuttlefishes are confusing people on Brighton beach.

We used a baby's pacifier-bung once but all the rest of it was kosher. The Kite-surfers did fly about a lot but we couldn't really see how many there were. Then Jof needed the toilet again so we came home just before the rain started.