Friday, 22 January 2016

Making a Pig's Ear of it

This school lark is getting boring, but then we were told to wear comfortable shoes on Monday, I know we're going somewhere but I keep forgetting. Maybe it's written in the stars.
A few days ago some of our more classy and generous locals left a pig's head (with added swastika motif and some unproven allegations about Mohammed) tied to the railings of an islamic infant school just a few roads and a world away. Now, even I know that's a bit nasty. At least the police have some solid evidence to go on, they can take the mugshot round all the local butchers saying do you recognize this pig.
counterfeit 2 pound coin thai 10 baht 250 iranian rialsYesterday Jof brought me a new coin to add to my collection, an Iranian 250 Rials. This is my first Iranian coin and topically notable as people are using them in the coin-operated machines in the supermarket because they're the same size as a £2 coin (but worth 1 penny), in the same way as the Thai 10 Baht coins are the same size as a 2-Euro coin, but worth 18p, and currently flooding European cities as counterfeit coinage.
News comes to me that a woman is in hospital in America after being shot in the cinema. Apparently a man in the row behind her was fumbling with his gun while watching the film and it went off.
In swimming I showed off my diving and comfortably beat my lane-mates.
crapping on people from a great heightDeep down I know that liver is a cheap yet excellent foodstuff and source of all manner of dietary delights, and demanded it be placed on my menu forthwith. So Jof cooked up a load of liver and bacon and mashed potato and guess what well-known offaly comestible I didn't like.
Here is a low-quality screenshot of my latest computer game 'Muddy Heights' in which you choose what to eat and poop from the top of a building onto passers-by. You can control consistency, trajectory and rebound and you get a higher score the more humans you hit. They run away most amusingly but also die in droves. Poops mean prizes! For once, I can be the pigeon ...

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