Nearly there!

Only one more day as a Year 3 student!
This is the day the parents have been looking forward to: the day of bringing home all the stuff we've made this term, and having to somehow quietly dispose of it. Because my bike was locked here overnight, we both cycled back through busy traffic and he carried the big bag of academic delights. My breast-shaped Egyptian amulet broke but at least that releases the central Swarovski crystal for re-use.
In an eclectic assortment of oddities, highlights are as follows.
1. Point by point breakdown of why a Roman Worrier will, on average, slaughter a Celtic Worrier. The secret is that although the Celt has a Crazy of 99, the Roman has an Atack of 100 and Wepons of 30, whereas the Celtic Worrier really is worried with a People Killed of only 3 and a score of a mere 11 for Happy.
2. Laminated Merit Certificate for having designed a tropical fish. Better than an award for the Norwegian coastline, I told you I was a god.
3. Short story "The Talking Duff" by me and illestrated by me. Clearly I have to speak in the heathen lingo of an 8 year-old, so my teacher does not suspect I'm capable of producing this blog, so bear with me during this heart-rending tale of a man battling with bipolar hallucinations.
Once upon a time there was a man called homer who lived in springfeild. One day homer felt thirsty so he walked into the kitchin to get a Duff. To his amazment the Duff spoke "Keep your hands off of me!" Homer looked at spider pig. "did you say that?" "no" replied spider pig. "Arrrrggggggghhbhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"!!! As fast as his legs could carry him he leeped into the car and Drove off 100 miles per hour. He stopped at moes to try and hide from the Duff and spider pig. When he got into moes moe asked him "why are you running so fast when the sun is shinning so bright?" first a Duff spoke to me, next spider pig spoke to me" said homer. "that's inpossible" said moe. "oh no it isn't" said the stool. "Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screemed hommer. As fast as his car could take him he drove until he came to barts school. Homer ran to the princibles office. "Why are you running so fast when the sun is shinning so bright?" asked the princible. first a Duff spoke to me next spider pig spoke to me then a stool spoke to me. "that's inpossible" said the princeable. "get out of here you foolish man". so poor homer walked home with his head hanging down. menewhile the prinserble Rocked back and forth. "how silly of that things could talk". quite so however heard of a talking Duff". "Arrgghh!" screemed the princable.
Anyway, it was a very hot day and I got very pink during gymnastics. Furthermore, I can reveal that Ben will shortly get 2 tattoos without parental approval. Starting on the inner right wrist with his name and date of birth, he will continue his personal details on his shoulder beginning with his postcode. I have advised him not to include the postcode as there is a slight chance he will move house during his lifetime.