Monday, 12 May 2014

Well Strigilate my Codpiece ...

text based emoticon forum fail funnyToday Dear Follower Fiona returned from darkest Africa bringing goodies. Not only was there a bag of cafe-creme sweeties (use your hyperactivity drive here), but also 2 coins, a Dinar and half-Dinar. Tunisia is a closed economy where you can't take money out, so I thank her for smuggling these valuable artefacts in locations unknown to be with me today.
Speaking of which, a lovely surprise awaited me on my return. Well wouldn't you know, I've won the Spanish Lottery. This is a special Lottery where you don't actually have to buy a ticket, funds are generated by worldwide sales of Spanish goods and there was a mix-up of names and addresses so I have to move smartish and fill in the attached form otherwise the lump sum payment (a mere 651 thousand Euros) will revert to the government! It says to keep it a secret until they've paid out. The letter is very colourful with watermarks and barcodes and bold type and is 'From the desk of the Vice President' which makes it totally kosher, baby.
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The comprehensive data enquiry form from well-known international lawyers and tax advisers "Eduardo Perez and partners" looks very swish: it has an email address and a special-rate mobile number and spelling errors and grammatical inventions persist throughout, but I'm sure they're trustworthy - with all that information, they could practically pretend to be me! Gosh! I'm so excited, I'll do my next post from Barbados! What's a 419 scam?
Even more, nice Mr Ebay has sent me a box of vintage yellow bricks. Only one was dead through teeth-marks and they all needed a wash, but don't we all.
Ben forgot his scooter so we all ran to Cub Scouts. Baloo is leaving so we all had to write about our favourite 'Baloo Moment', mine is getting used to his loud wolf whistles. I have been looking forward to a Cub Camp since forever, and now that one is happening in the summer, I'm double-booked. It's not fair.

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