Tile waits for no man

Egyptian day at school and Pops was all dolled up as Isis. We used the Sarcophagus and painted it.
At kicking-out time, I had one job - be first out, so we could get home for the builder. OK, so I was last out and hadn't even packed my bag when everyone else had packed up and gone, but it's not my fault, I had to pack up my bag! Just because everyone else managed it ...
The builder was supposed to be coming round to tell us how many tiles to buy to cover the floor and walls of the new shower room. But time slipped away from us like a hemimetic polyalloy in a hopper of molten iron.  We waited. The builder never turned up.
Eventually we had to go to my swimming lesson (in a tiled pool with tiled surrounds) with no tile instructions whatsoever.
My friends at Schwim told me of the fabled game of Manhunt. I have rarely hunted men since my firearms licence was forcibly revoked but after only the lightest interrogation it bore an increasing resemblance to "it".
I asked if I could play with the others and when the answer came back too slow, too negative or too indecisive, I ran away and played it anyway, in the overgrown mounds of rubble behind the carpark.
You elect a hunter who has to count to 20 and you all hide, he comes after you ... stop me if you've heard it before.

Anyway, I have an ongoing problem with the tablet. I want to sit and play Minecraft indefinitely but I tend to say I'm full at dinnertime to facilitate my return to the blocky world of unreality. Thus they said Thou shalt not block until thy supper is consumèd to completion. Tonight I served up: Luxury Fish Pie with carrots, broccoli and baby corn. I stole 3 of the 4 broccolis, extra sauce, potato topping and marine meatiness. I polished my plate and used a loud fart as part of a sentence, earning me Blocktime X-Treem and disapproving looks from Jof. Hurrah for being a bloke. In addition, I secured agreement for a family bike-ride of 11 1/2 miles, that'll teach Jof to be a girl.