Chim Chiminy Chim Chiminy ...

I was rudely awoken far too early by a jolly tradesman who brought lots of strange tooling and accoutrements.
I investigated but at least had the presence of mind to put on a dressing gown. The man said the reason for the smoky chim chiminy was because there's a little flap thing inside that was in the down position and he was surprised we hadn't died of carbon monoxide poisoning.
We said that wasn't going to happen, because every time we light the fire to warm the room up, we have to open all the windows to let the smoke out. Anyway he attached up to 10 rods to his brush and span them using a cordless power drill, which was quite fun to see.
But the sight of a grown man screwing his rod and shoving it in and out using a power tool was somehow disquieting without pants, so I went and got dressed, leaving him to clean out the pipes. He had a poncho-style sheet with a hole in, which he sellotaped round the fireplace.

We could hear lots of bits falling down and by the time he'd finished, there was a bin-bag full, but he didn't make a big song'n'dance about it. Anyway, time just flue by and he did the kitchen one as well as the lounge: the kitchen one is over the cooker and most days we get a little deposit of ash on the hob, although one deposit we had last year was a chicken bone that some luckless corvid had lost down the yawning chim chiminy-pot.
After he'd gone the day just got boring. I Minecrafted and stared gormlessly at the TV (must remember to switch it on next time) and I played a bit of football-tag in the park with some known associates but then Jof said we could open the post and it was a DVD of Schwarzenegger's Last Action Hero.
I collect Arnie movies but I'm not allowed to see them all, maybe next month for Predator and Total Recall and Running Man.
But Last Action Hero references so many films I simply haven't seen yet, most of the sly asides (eg Sly in the T2 promo display in the video shop) go over my head.