Wednesday, 23 October 2013

The Skeleton Contest

kids t-shirt with unicorn rainbow and stars go to hellAll hail the day of the school Halloween party! I have rifled through the remaining fancy dress costumery and selected a skeleton one-sie with added Skeletor mask and sword (you have to have a weapon). All the rest of the silly costumes have been thrown away. I wanted to use smoke bombs (the ones you use to determine whether the chimney needs cleaning) to make a special entrance. It always looks great on Scooby-doo when the evil Ninja (Bob the Janitor in a silly costume) throws a smoke bomb and it instantly fills the room, not like reality at all in which you have to stand there fighting with a cigarette lighter, 3 1/2 wisps of smoke come out and get blown out of the door, and all the fire alarms and sprinklers go off, not to mention the suspension from school.
In school we made cupcakes and pop-up Secret Garden cards and 'Lightcatchers', plastic flowers with artistically arranged coloured tissue paper haloes, to look good up against the light. I declared I'd come top and gained 2 house points for mine.
chasing a squirrel up a conker treeNo sooner had I scooted home, it was time to don my terrifying skeleton suit and set out again. Just when we got to the school road, BensMum poked her head out of an unexpected Evie's house and said you're half an hour early, doncherknow. So I took Ben to Mad Hospital park (St James' playing fields, strong on dog walkers and summer fetes, mushrooms, escaped Victorian asylum patients and squirrels) where we climbed on the wooden obstacle course for a bit until we spotted a squirrel.
halloween skeleton and axe murderer executionerHaving chased it up a tree, we bombarded the area it had long vacated with conkers and sticks; few people are happier than boys throwing sticks, especially ones dressed as skeletons and executioners.
At the Halloween party I was not the only skeleton but there were many zombies, several Munch-screamers, witches, Harry Potters and black cats and one traffic cop, who may have been at the wrong venue.
I came second in 'Scaring' with my fearsome speech and Troll-bridge stomping action, but one on my team totally walked into the broomstick in the limbo so I cheated by lifting it with my sword.
I was disqualified from 'Dancing' because I was too hot. (Sweaty, not Twerking with a wrecking ball).
At home it was obvious I was tired with the indecision about food and shower, I'd got to howling and coughing and leg massage before the magic of Calpol kicked in and I babbled aimlessly for ages, just when Jof really wanted to sit down.

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