Mungleton Mystery Incorporated

It is obvious to me that the summer has been stolen, presumed dead, by persons or agencies unknown. So, a few days ago, I passed the case to my in-house detective agency BRICKPORT, staffed by the following:
Brent Angostura - bitter ex-cop and beer diviner. Can tell 300 kinds of beer apart by looking at the pump alone. Wounded in 3rd vestigial leg 3 days from retirement, he enjoys abusing Jehovah's witnesses and eating doughnuts.
Rockport Fulton - granite-jawed Private Investigator, ex of No Such Agency, now works part-time at the Spanish Inquisition. Allergic to grapes, he always brings his own fireaxe.
Dick Greeting - enthusiastic amateur, abandoned at birth and raised by coypu. Then abandoned by coypu and raised by San Salvadorean missionaries. Former French Foreign Legionnaire, Yemeni slave trader and milliner.
I expect their report any day now.....although it looks like the perpetrators are lying low until the heat's off - we actually got sunshine today

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Grandma and Grandad are going to sell their cars and buy one of those wizzo ones where you can get a wheelchair in the back. She's throwing away the detailed diaries she's kept since the 60's, lucky my diary fits on a data module.

Because of the unexpected sun, I walked to the park with Baby Edward and played football and wrestling with Willow the Mad. So it's not just Erin, then...
First thing I asked was whether we were going to the Pirate Ship Pub for beer.
After swimming, I had half of my supper and went to bed before 8pm with headaches. OK, so we didn't go to Beer'o'clock, but if we had, one wonders whether I'd have been the tetchy type person that'd have picked a fight with my best mates eg Ben. Given that I'm, like, actually, dude, 2 feet shorter than him, like, whatever, it was better that I didn't.