Thursday, 19 April 2012

Busy being god

love god not rocket surgery funny church sign failSo this afternoon I was busy being omnipotent again. I have already created a world (here's one I made earlier), it's kinda this big by that big and it's got a path down the middle and flowerbeds on either side. I said, let there be light, and hey presto. I find it easiest to wait until spring to make this godly commandment. As resident deity, I decide who lives: I have already made some inhabitants for my pet world - those apple trees I planted a few years ago - and I also got some Verbenas from B+Q a couple of weeks ago. I also get to decide who dies in a jealous and vicious way - I do enjoy crunching snails beneath the feet of my advancing armies (light-up trainers) but sometimes it's easier to send out my armadas of doom (little blue poison pellets). Also, as divine being, I can make it rain; I simply use my magic hosepipe. I also consign dead sticks and stuff to my own personal Fires Of Hell but due to scheduling, I'm not due to actually light the bonfire for another few weeks. Weeds, once detected, I pull from their places in the promised land and cast them upon the compost heap to die of thirst and fungus. I decree sulphur and brimstone but mostly on about November 5th.
It's great to be the god.
In other news, Grandma is home from the hospital and is finding it tough. Grandad messed up the supper a bit last night but I'm sure they'll work it out.
This afternoon was a peaceful one with no visitors, just spelling tests and Lego Heroes. Sometimes even a god needs time out. I even got a few games of ludo/snakes + ladders in with Bud before Monopoly restarted. We have now used up all the pubs (hotels) and it's a high-stakes game.
All the way through my shower I sang my new song "Have a farty, load it up....".

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