Sunday, 2 August 2015

Grecian 2000: Battle of the Sunbeds

stella palace pool analipsi creteWoke up to wind (not Feta cheese-related) and cloud and planes coming in over the bay instead of along the coast. Heraklion must be a very busy airport because planes come in every few minutes and they only stop between 1 and 4 am.
To be fair, it may not have started so well. Many young chaps and chapesses of my age become argumentative as we strive to reinvent ourselves as independents. I don't say no, but I do say why or but I don't want to do that.
I guess I did that a few hundred times too many and Jof said well if you're not enjoying the holiday we can save the money and not bother next year. Of course this does not exactly cheer one up.
Jof wanted to sit by #1 Pool which has the infinity wall. We could see spare sunbeds out of our window but by the time we'd finished arguing over breakfast it was 1030 and they were all betowelled.
So were all of the ones around #2 Pool. We ended up on a bench by the bar doing double teapots so I ran away to snorkel. Much later, a sunbed on #1 Pool came free for a microsecond so I sat on it while Bud got all our stuff.
stella palace and village analipsi creteI found a small round bit of plastic stamped #20 so we threw it to each other while the receiver did handstands to provide a funnier, feetier target.
I had spaghetti and chips again for lunch with the same pile of chocolate mousse and a token cucumber as my vegetable. This caused further dietary unhappiness although I did accept a slice of watermelon in return for half a Baklava.
That's why they put me in kid's club for 3 hours. First we found the birdcage and fed the budgies grass through the wire mesh which they yummed up. After all, it was fertilised by their own poo. In kids club there were 2 other boys and 5 girls, all of us 9 years old, gotta like those odds.
All the best looking ones are French. Jof sat by the sea and Bud snorkelled and retrieved a sackful of sea urchin shells. We think they may make nice mini-lampshades or magic mushrooms, perhaps we could make some kind of hippy still life with them internally lit by Xmas tree LED lights.
stella palace and village analipsi crete protected harbourThen we bought 2 more waterguns and a rubber ring and played lots. Some big boys had tequila and a big bong and they smoked and drank and shouted and dived in to impress the girlies but sadly none of them fell backwards and cracked their skulls.
Later I played Rogue Agent which is where I take a watergun from the armoury and run rampage through pools 3-7 killing every kid I can find. Eventually we came back for pre-supper showers.
Our shower has only 1 setting: fierce. Plus the drains are challenged so foam comes up the floor grating in a wobbly cumulonimbus column, but at least the floor's clean.
At supper I tried new things such as pizza, chips, potato croquettes, and Mexican meatballs (too spicy) and finished with the giant chocolate cake again. But there was a Mexican-related cake with a San Pedro cactus on it in icing and it was rather good so I filled up until my plate was removed from me.
stella palace village analipsi creteMeanwhile, back at the amphitheatre, it was Greek night at the entertainment. There was some traditional cultural Cretaceous dancing and to help the kids go to bed, Bernie and Lollo come on. They are the hotel chain mascots. Bernie is a bear in lumberjack costume (so he's OK) and Lollo is a giraffe. But we were too late and I missed all of it. Then there was an animated film in French about a stupid bear (French) and a small purple girl (French) and their adventures, 0/10, do not bother.
Pool #6 was noisy because the traditional Greek band were doing ukulele music with Zorba the Greek and in-and-out conga line dancing, and some fireworks went off. Bed was much needed although still sandy even though Jof had asked the maids to change the bed.

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