Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Acommodusbraccisophobia (Fear of running out of Comfy Trousers)

silhouette of man with droopy penis fail funnyWell. It's lucky we ordered a car that could do breaststroke, otherwise we'd never have made it to the Watersports Centre. No, cars don't do irony. It's all steel. Anyway, we waited for the staff to turn up and open the gate and I was in. The morning activity was a Kayaking relay. They only fit 3 rowers so our groups of 5 had to go once round the buoy with 2, return to swap rowers and make the second trip with 3. We got off to a flying start when we actually pushed our first team into the briny and ended up winning by a seal's hair's breadth. I maintain that I was nipped in the foot by a crab but it was one of those hermit crabs living on borrowed time, like North Korea. For lunch I had Bangin' Tuna and sweetcorn pasta but the lid had come off so the inside of my lunchbox was somewhat fishy but I scraped off and consumed as much as I could, any remnants were sealed in place by the driblets of chocolate custard, a classic combination. The afternoon saw a brief cessation of monsoon and it was quite warm so we did Go-Karting. You have to make your own Kart but all the bits were there and the racetrack loop looks like the first choo coming out of the train chimney, like a bubble being blown in a sidewind. Of course the motor is your 4 team-mates so we all had a turn pulling and most of us fell off at some point but it was all very funny. In Capture-The-Flag our base was made of one of those orange fence units (that they might have nicked from any local civil engineering project) and some poles and rubber mats. The other lot had a rubbish den but they had more older boys who are faster.
portsmouth watersports centre camp exteme adventure On the way home we stopped to pick up some school uniform that Bud had bought for me. This is one of those boring things you just have to do, whether you want to or not. Like all chaps, we were efficient shoppers in that we got what we came for, and spent about 3 1/2 minutes inside. But that was not all. I have a load of auditions coming up and they require a passport-sized photo to be attached to the application form.
photo me booth asda frattonWe know of a Photo-Me booth in our local ASDA, indeed I have used it before to secure both of my passports. Bud suggested I look at least happy in the pictures, not like those following-the-rules dreary legal-type pictures for your actual passport. But I made the face I wanted and was stuck with it, must have been a change in the wind direction somewhere.
passport sized photo from photo-me booth asda frattonI refused to pose for a pretend shot looking like I was mooning the camera so I just wound the chair down so far that only Slenderman could use it. Yesterday Jof bought me some jogging bottoms, but only 2 pairs. I have rampant fear of running out of comfortable trousers so I bought myself a couple more, one of those monkeys-on-yer-back we all suffer from. At home Jof revealed that she'd bought 10 pairs of socks for Bud, and it isn't even his birthday!

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