Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Day of Rest: Lock up your Drachmas

stella palace analipsi creteIt is not unreasonable to have a rest period on holiday. So we got up lazily and had lazy breakfast and met the unofficial hotel cats.
These scrawny rabid beasties have very big ears but very thin bodies. Jof saved ham, chicken and cheese from breakfast, chopped it up for them, and I took out a bowl of milk. Apparently the staff feed them in the tourist season but in the winter the place closes down and they're on their own.
Sunbeds were located at Pool 2, this is an improvement. Because of Sunbed Wars (see a couple of days ago), the Towel Nazis now patrol regularly, remove and safely detonate unattended towels.
We set up camp and us water babies played. We lost one of our 3 waterguns to unknown assailants but equally, inherited a rainbow ball and so played shoot-the-hoop with the rubber ring. One plays Ring Commander and the others try to get the bomb down the exhaust vent of the death star.
Lunch has become predictable. Jof has given up overtly telling me to try new food and include fruit and veg. But I know that deep down, they're monitoring my plates hawkishly, so I have spaghetti and chips with cucumber, then say I'm having the veg next. For the next plate I get some cucumber, potatoes, and one unknown device such as pork, sweetcorn pasta etc. I then try it, say it's too chewy or I can taste the red pepper and declare it gravadlax non grata, or, a phrase of my own invention, banana and oatmeal cock paste.
mother shoots kid with water gun
This leaves me free to select a plate of chocolate fudge cake the size of the Eiger for plate #3, which I fail to finish - this of course leaves me unable to add fruit.
In the afternoon re resumed our sunny position and booked a Fish Spa. This is where you sit in a fishtank and lots of little Garra Rufa hoover-fish clean your feet for 20 Euros. They weren't interested in mine but the ones in Jof's tank went nuts because her feeties have had a very hard time recently with the chafing sandals and the drunken dancers and the running round after us, so the fish had to work extra hard and it was very tickly.
garra rufa diathanole feet spa fishI sloped off to the good old Pirate pool while Bud investigated the shoreline and brought home even more sea urchins, we've practically got an orphanage of the little blighters. Finally I made a friend in the Pirate Pool and had to buy him another gun (5 Euros in the Bizarre Bazaar) to extend our games.
stella palace and village analipsi creteThe magic mushrooms switched on in our honour and even the giant penguins widdled.
At supper (Italian night) I had pizza and chips with pasta and we all had the strange orange volcanic basalt creation which we agreed was white chocolate with candy bits, in an orange glaze. We've pretty well missed every nocturnal entertainment so far.
This afternoon Jof and I tried the aqua aerobics but we didn't have a floaty-sausage so we lost interest but we did make it to the amphitheatre to witness the same terrifying chipmunks theme as last year in German played to some Poles and Frogs so very welcome there, I'm sure.
stella palace nightly entertainmentOnce Stella the Cuddly Dolphin had vacated the stage we had comedy night in which the Ents team valiantly performed sketches such as Doctor Doctor, I've got a terrible ailment and Manager Manager, my secretaries haven't got big enough boobies, and Babies arguing over the Best Toys and You've got to be Kidding, Girlie, I'm too tired to give you what you want.
I can personally report that both cocktails of the day wre very sticky so we went to bed at 1120. Because today was laze-around-in-the-sun day, we are all very pink with amusingly shaped white bits, pictures not available.

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