Hot3 of Hove

A very happy christmas to all citizens of my own personal world!

I was LAST UP in my household, going against the tradition of the kid sitting under the tree at 0500 shivering in anticipation. But after breakfast we did the present ceremony in which I was the giver-outer, at last I got that tradition right. I have not yet learned whose handwriting is whose and find it difficult to read, so I announced things like 'hots of hove' (because Jof's Ls are like Hs) and 'Boy-child-thingy-wotsit' because that's what he calls me.

Jof got the biggest pile and I got a dressing gown and Finding Dory and loads of chocolate and 2 Pokémon cuddlies and a massive pile of scratchcards. Jof got an identical massive pile of scratchcards. This is because in the past, Bud has given Jof £80 or so worth of scratchcards because it is easy and you don't have to think about it too much or employ complicated wrapping. And every year I offer to help her scratch them and because she is a pushover I get to scratch them all anyway.

So we did scratchfest #1 in the front room using Spitalfields market tokens from my coin collection and I won and won and won and I'm rich. Jof also won and then I mixed up the piles so our competition was no longer on an even footing. Jof forced us to go for a walk in the park and we got rained on and she wouldn't go in the swinging basket.

We are lucky in that we don't have to travel to visit relatives. Only Grandad is left and he's in Saigon (via Ceylon and Prussia). So Jof cooked and we sat down for the Porgathon at 315 (and yes, I went back for more vegetables again) and there was intestinal discomfort and such a lot of carcase to cook up for stock, we had to use the cauldron. 5 hours later I could only fit in half a chocolate coin.

Can I suggest that you all watch the 'Best Of Web' compilation by Mr Zapatou (Luc Bergeron) which is a harmless yearly Youtube event. Always a good laugh and you sit in front of the screen for 10 minutes wishing you were as cool as them.