11

I suspected something was different today, so I asked - is it my birthday today or is it tomorrow? When you're my age you don't really need a calendar. But it was indeed my birthday, shared with only the grooviest people, although one of my cards said open on 28th, which is my un-birthday.

I got a Huawei Mediapad II which is a big new tablet with a larger screen and it linked to my home network easily and it's got all this stuff on it like Microsoft word which I'll never use because it's only for watching Youtube videos of Minecrafters, right?

And I got a Potter book from Grandad where he said look for your lucky number, and because my lucky number is 81, there's nothing in a book that is remotely 81-related even the barcode, I had to be prompted into looking on page 81 to find the £20 note hidden therein. A more distant relative sent me a postal order, didn't think they still existed.

Grandad also set me a mathematical challenge in his special handwriting. Like the hereditary priest caste of some lost civilisation, only the male line of our family can read the accursed cursive script but I used it to conclusively prove that Π is 3.22, using compasses and some string.

And in the Co-op I cashed in my lottery scratchcard winnings (£26) which means £46 into my piggy bank. Another birthday bonus is being measured. I grew 2.1 centimetres in the last 3 months which is good for me.

In the afternoon I met the JBs in the park to stop me having another entire day on the tablet. We ran around like loud maniacs for an hour and a half and in the same park were 8 or 10 little tiny people in hi-vis jackets. They must have been about 3 years old and are current students of the Puddleduck Nursery where I first met Ben and the JBs about 7 years ago. We hit one or two of them with the giant yellow tennis ball and sang merrily about our exploits before going back to mine for cake and X-box. And swords and guns.