Rusty Buses and Gusty Gussets

To make up for yesterday when my Royal Coach was ten minutes early at both pickup and set-down, today it was 31 minutes late due to a crash on the motorway.
Even so, my coach got there first because while all the other coaches had to use the motorway, we used the back roads.
Today I painted my wasp. This is not a disguised comment of extreme rudeness from the urban dictionary, this is my continuing art project. Despite the wide variety of outward-bound track and field activities on offer, I have chosen to remain inside and make a nature panorama.
Thus I have leftover energy at the end of the day so we went to the park and I made a mountain of woodchips for some obscure reason involving the foothold-holes being the mouths of characters of various weights, who needed to undergo drastic gastric band surgery to stop them eating so much, this is possibly to do with my own extreme flatulence.
At home I finally killed off all resistance to my Monopoly victory (I told them it was useless) and won with every property except Mayfair/Park Lane and about £6k. An unexpected knock at the door announced the arrival of two firemen. I said, no thank you, we don't want to buy one, but they insisted. Ages ago, they had come to my school and asked if anyone didn't have smoke detectors. I dobbed my parents in straight away and I knew I was right because the builders hadn't even finished building so there were no radiators, lights, carpets or walls so smoke detectors were, like, dur, whatever. They installed 2 tweeters and were duly impressed by my cavernous knowledge of fires and how to deal with them. I used to do fires, you know.