StrippenFührer

Good evening, everyone, Satan's typewriter here. In other news, I have again been selected for a starring role in the latest school production, Snow White and the 7 Jockeys! (I had a T-shirt about that once) In recognition of my outstanding dance moves, stage presence and post-modern open mike improv soirees, I have been cast as "Newsreader". I require a suit and tie and may provide my own props such as "Breakfast" mug.
Our one builder tiled quietly in a corner and then Jof was a plonker. She'd kindly bought me school-grade shorts to wear because I'm always running around and now it's hot. But on minute 1 of day 1, it bucketed down. I went to school in shorts and a raincoat. Rain and thunder continued throughout the day.

In the afternoon, we tried to get into the car. It had 3 bedroom doors in the back, making it an 8-door saloon. Problem was, these doors are Edwardian originals and quite long: even though we have an estate car we had to move the front seats forward and wind the backs forward as well. It's ok for me as my little legs were easily stashed within the open glove compartment but Bud was getting intimate with the steering wheel and his legs kept indicating right or violating the windscreen wipers rights, depending.

With careful coasting, several stalls at junctions and severe hiccups due to constant giggles, we made it to the Strip Joint on Goldsmith and extricated ourselves by falling out (and being inappropriate with the gearstick). The stripper welcomed us with a £75 bill and we ran away.

At swimming I had to have a plaster when my foot bled for no apparent reason but it floated away into the pool so a happy ending there.