So we trundled off to the seafront and got partially naked even though one of us was liberally bedaubed with paint. I took a red plastic bucket to throw water at people but it spent most of its time on the side not doing anything. I did the green waterslide but it's very slow and I had to push myself along: he said why don't you try the red slide, for it is much better. You have to be 1.2M to go on it, they have a pen scribble on the wall to see if you're tall enough. I was! So I entered the dark tunnel entrance without trepidation, because he hadn't told me what it was like. 
It is predominantly red and dark and decorated like a snake, hence the name Cobra. It's much faster and there's a sudden drop towards the end which whizzes you speedily into the slow-down lake and I splashed lots. It was ... invigorating. So I ran over to Jof and told her all about it, and I went on again and I want to go back and do it more and I probably won't bother with the green one again because it is pedestrian and for little people. We showered and I took off my trunks and covered myself in glory and blue showergel and announced loudly to the suddenly full shower area that I had a blue end-bit on my willy and everyone else was diplomatically silent.
We got back in time for the emergency boilerman who turned the gas tap on and the boiler lit happily. We looked so meek he did not have the heart to charge us so we shall pretend that nothing happened, lucky we didn't have to pay £90 + VAT for someone to do that last night.
Then I helped paint. It's the super-glooper oil-based paint and I did the door to the understairs cupboard while Bud sang The Gasman Cometh from Flanders and Swann. There is paint everywhere and Jof said you have to stop it due to noxious fumes so I played computer games.
The Gas Man Cometh is so good it is worth reproducing here.
'Twas on the Monday morning, The gasman came to call,
The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all.
He tore out all the skirting boards, To try and find the mains,
And I had to call the carpenter to put them back again!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Tuesday morning, The carpenter came round,
He hammered and he chiselled and said,
"Look what I've found! Your joints are full of dryrot,
Though I'll put them all to rights,"And he nailed right though a cable, (pop)
And out went all the lights!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Wednesday morning, The electrician came,
He called me Mr Sanderson, Which isn't quite my name,
He couldn't reach the fusebox, Without standing on the bin,
And his foot went through a window, So I called the glazier in!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Thursday morning, The glazier came along,
With his blowtorch and his putty, And his merry glazier song.
He put another pane in, It took no time at all,
But I had to get the painter in, To come and paint the wall!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Friday morning, The painter made a start,
With undercoats, and overcoats, He painted every part!
Every nook and every cranny, Though I found when he was gone,
He'd painted over the gas tap, And I couldn't turn it on!
The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all.
He tore out all the skirting boards, To try and find the mains,
And I had to call the carpenter to put them back again!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Tuesday morning, The carpenter came round,
He hammered and he chiselled and said,
"Look what I've found! Your joints are full of dryrot,
Though I'll put them all to rights,"And he nailed right though a cable, (pop)
And out went all the lights!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Wednesday morning, The electrician came,
He called me Mr Sanderson, Which isn't quite my name,
He couldn't reach the fusebox, Without standing on the bin,
And his foot went through a window, So I called the glazier in!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Thursday morning, The glazier came along,
With his blowtorch and his putty, And his merry glazier song.
He put another pane in, It took no time at all,
But I had to get the painter in, To come and paint the wall!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
'Twas on the Friday morning, The painter made a start,
With undercoats, and overcoats, He painted every part!
Every nook and every cranny, Though I found when he was gone,
He'd painted over the gas tap, And I couldn't turn it on!
Oh, it all makes work, For the working man to do!
On Saturdays and Sundays, They do no work at all,
So 'twas on the Monday morning, That the gasman came to call!
The main reason I was annoyed at the boiler malfunction was that I missed bath fizzer night. So I had it tonight instead. The bath is an Adelphi L-shaped bath with folding glass splash screen and it slopes gently toward the head end. I prefer the shower end because it widens out considerably which gives me plenty of space to operate my bucket and spade on bath fizzer nights.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Hi! I'm glad you want to comment, for I like messages from humans. But if you're a Robot spam program, Google will put you in the spam folder for me to laugh at later.