Spanish Oak Junglehall

By the time I woke up, paint had been applied in 3 rooms and the builders were making a brew. While I ate a slow banana, the carpenter had bad news for us. The spare doors that the last owner had kindly left for us were a bit pants and he could only use one, if he turned it round and added hinges on the other side. The rest we would have to buy anew, and he told us of a legendary doorshop at the other end of our road.

But I had been bitten by the roller-painting bug and as I had chosen the colours for my own bedroom, it was only fair that I painted it. I rolled Lemon Ice yellow over the 2 walls I had agreed to paint. I even rolled a bonus yellow patch on the wall that was supposed to be Roasted Red, a mistake any deranged half-wit could make, witness the Brioche-ing of Bed 3's ceiling only 2 days ago.

But because of CarpentryMan's pronouncements, ("It's gonna cost you") we decided that the existing doors on Beds 1+2 were not that bad after all and proceeded to remove the panel pins from them with pliers, promising to apply extra-thick paint to them afterwards to hide the injuries. The previous previous owner had tacked great sheets of ugliness to the Victorian originals, the last one removed them but left the pins, which were a tetanus hazard as well as being ugly. Between us we sorted the door and filled the wall. I also spent much time quacking away in my den with Lego.

After a snack we visited "JungleHall", a soft play facility in central Pompey. They have been open for 2 weeks, and here is my review, lovingly written on the back of the receipt, nothing like being prepared.

Junglehall occupies the former Portsmouth Masonic Hall. The freemasons have all gone, free at last no doubt. The brand new play centre (medium size) has decent opening times (9-6 daily) and reasonable prices. There is a nice cafe with a good selection of victuals that are nothing like that of the Wimpy associated with Pirate Petes.

Squash is available at 50p but it's not large, take a bottle and refill yourself like we used to do in the Student Union. The play area is nice and new and brown and green, ostensibly to be jungle-like but easier to hide any surprise vomits. It has a double-turn curly slide, low-incline longslides, a perspex-ended tube hideaway a la Pirate Petes, and a monochrome ball pit. Blue balls fly as well as any other at the head of your nemesis, but sometimes you need to clang your adversary with a rapid red.

There are dangly punchbags, floor-is-lava crocodile pit, suspended football and web levels with climbing wall. My favourite was the giant-footballs-in-a-box but I can't help but think it's best for the 4-6 age range.

The toilets were large, airy and clean and there's a party room of indifferent decor. It is frequented by lots of kids with either older sisters or suspiciously young mummies: I had a great time but there was a constant howled accompaniment from deep in the jungly bowels of the 3-D complex.

Yes, it'd be worth meeting some Piddlers there for an hour's fun.

After shopping it was raining but the hardier Ben + JBs were footballing at Canoe Lake so we stopped off at the legendary doorshop on the way down to see them. As I walked along the pavement outside the Old Gravediggers pub, a man opened his car door without looking and smacked me right in the eye socket with some pressed steel. I howled a bit and developed an inch-long purple welt by my left orbit.

The doors and door furniture were reasonable so we will return and make all of our doorhandles match, an unhithertofor unknown luxury.

At Canoe Lake we played football for 40 minutes and I got an extra hug from Bobert for turning up. Ben kept kicking the ball into the Spanish Oak (evergreen canopy of unparalleled thickness) and we sent in a basketball to knock it out. When that also became stuck we sent in a 2 foot log: when that became stuck my pet parent arrived and shook the tree and got it all back. Then Bob whizzed the log at Ben's head for what I'm sure was a good reason and it all ended suddenly. Everyone was OK.

But he did the rest of the yellow wall so we're ready for Roasted Red tomorrow.