Oh No it ****ing isn't

These cheeky bar stewards remind me of the last beer festival I almost attended. Later in the program, fishing's greatest mystery, who killed JR Hartley.  Anyway, at school today LittleMax tried to light a fire in the playground using a stone and the stone wall (the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys). There was smouldering but I put it out by fanning it with some dried leaves. A lucky escape for us all there.
At home there was more painting and hoovering and tidying and WindowMan was back, putting some glue on the outside bits. Then we decided to put the net curtains back up, but the little wires that hold them up were now too short as the glass bit is wider than the old windows.
Any experienced master builder like me will know that any home maintenance task (however simple) will require 7 trips downstairs to collect tools that for some reason you don't keep in the bedroom, at least one trip into the loft and finally one unexpected journey to Big B+Q to purchase some archaic item like the 5/8" Grotter's Shim or like today, a Purblind Marling Wrench (Metric, not Catholic).
Finally the new wires are up but the nets themselves are in the washing machine because they were quite grey. I suppose in a way we should have seen that one coming and washed them all.
After food we hastened through the traffic jams and hordes of walking kids to the King's Theatre, Albert Road. 

Even the one you've heard of isn't there



Tonight is kiddie night and Snow White is onstage with who knows how many ugly sisters, dwarves, cross-dressing falsettos and Z-list people who once cut hair for a celebrity's gardener. We arrived at the same time as 2 coachloads of out-of-town extra kiddies and then it started to sleet gently. The inside (Upper Circle, as befits) was most warm and welcoming.....It was great. I bought an ice cream @ £2.50 and I got a hottie bottie sitting in the seats for hours and at the end they sang Gangnam Style and if you wanted you could get up on stage and dance so I did. (I feel a career coming on....). We gave one of my Beaver friends a lift home to Middle-of-nowhere, 3 clicks past Blue Reef fish'n'chips, and I got home at 10pm. Had a cheese sandwich.