Alien intimacy: personal space invader

So last night at showertime I was dancing around in front of the bath not getting in, as you do. Eventually he tired of this display and lifted me up and in. In the manner of all good hunt saboteurs/political protesters etc, I tried to make this more difficult for the arresting officer by hooking my legs over the side of the bath. Physicists will understand the rotation of a body about a fixed point: I therefore pivoted gracelessly and ended up on my back in the bottom of the bath, with the shower-water going right up my nose. Although not damaging in any way, this was a little unexpected, and I registered my protest in the usual howly way while he just stood there and laughed. These are the traumas of our youth that lead to the neuroses of later life.
Then again, I'd already retaliated in advance by making dinosaur noises and farting until Jof sent me out of the room. I have therefore been renamed Methanosaurus.

 Still raining. The nice water management people have said that because of all the flooding, we won't have to have a hosepipe ban next summer. I look forward to government-sponsored nationwide wet T-shirt contests.

Erin came home with me after school and we drew and made a den and chased each other and threw teatowels and the sound of her shrieks and giggles filled the air. The sound of my dinosaur explosions and farts also filled the air, to be fair, to be sure. She was dressed as Queen Victoria but there was a hint of priestess or spanking nun about her, she could have broken out into the Sound of Music at any time. Then we wrestled extensively, culminating in the loss of my trousers just as ErinsDad came to pick her up. I told her that she fights well for a girl. In fact, as I'm six inches shorter, I probably got off lightly.

We drove to Southsea to shop for a Secret Santa present. The first place was no good but I did discover an Aladdin's cave of bath fizzers. In my own mind I have spent thousands, and have vowed to return.

The second shop was much more fun. It had all sorts of strange 'Toys' that looked like pink plastic willies and were batteries not included, and attachments to help people enjoy showering together and teacups with tits on the front and there were a lot of words I don't know on the packets and he said I'd have to wait ten years before he'd explain everything. Secrets make me angry.

Then we met Jof in Waitrose and bought even more beer and party food.