Shrouded in mist-ery

Rain and fog. Jof drove us through a cloud down miles of single track lane that her Tablet PC had mapped out for us.

It was still wartime as all the signs had been removed to confuse the invaders, but also a manic council official had nailed a 30 mph sign to every tree and telegraph pole. The Germans will advance unsteadily and at a sensible speed.

We finally arrived at Blackgang Chine (we were #5 car so very quiet upon arrival) where it was so foggy some Yellowjackets were guiding people into the car park with little orange light-up cricket bats, I kid you not.

Again, this is not offputting to us stoic Pompeyites so we went round every single "Attraction", all of which were genially insane in one way or another. They're strong on dodgy animatronic models and I was scared in the Rumpus Mansion with its burping trolls and screaming goblins.

Jof had a rest while we did Frontierland (in the authentic western saloon bar, everyone else had cap pistols or rifles. I did not, so managed to find a large broom from somewhere and swept the establishment, for no-one shoots the cleaner) and The Fairy Castle. Fairies and dinos and magic mushrooms (possibly over-consumed by the creators of these barking displays) leap out at you from behind every bush.

One area has 500 chimney pots of obsolete designs.

Lunch was early, poorly cooked and expensive. I picked at my chips while Jof complained that her chicken wrap tasted like catfood (and she should know) and got a cheese roll instead.

Meanwhile hundreds of other people had arrived and milled around in the thick fog hoping for a glimpse of something more than 20 feet away ie perhaps the sea.

Here are some of the mushrooms, for my money, one of them strikingly resembles Dear Follower Martin before he met his girlfriend Dear Follower Zoe. The maze was even more a-maze-ing than usual as it was entirely shrouded in mist so you couldn't even cheat by standing on someone's shoulders.

I was wowed by the World Of Wood and Ferries and Steam Engines and Lifeboats. Lots more animatronic models with confusing poetic overdubs in accents of all nations and a grandmother in bed that didn't do anything when you pressed the button.

I went on the dinghy waterslide with Bud because he said it wasn't fast which was a lie so I needed a cuddle with Jof afterwards. I did not go on the rollercoaster as they are too scary, I couldn't tell how big it was because the top was obscured by the roiling sea fog.

The Pirate Barrels (exactly the same as the spinning teacups at Paultons' Park) were totally fabulous (apart from the dubious nursery rhymes blaring at you), you can make them spin faster if you turn the central wheel so after the first ride a distinctly pale Bud got off and I went alone a further twice, exiting the ride like a true Pirate who's just been paid in rum. Right at the very end we glimpsed a glimmering glint of sunshine upon the sea below, but we still drove back through cloud.
Back for archery, another free activity. The plastic bows and arrows were a bit crap but we all liked the crossbows. I got much better at shooting and then went for a sweaty hour in Monkey World.
Took a beach ball swimming this time. Apparently today there was a duck in the outside pool.