iark iark creeeew creeew pkarkle

Woken up by wildlife to discover we'd somehow failed to buy the margarine that was definitely in our Sainsburys trolley yesterday. Cereal for breakfast. On the grass outside our front door can be found an average of 9 big brown slugs, especially bad for Jof who is allergic to the idea of slugs.
Drove to Sandown. A church is for sale just up the hill, handy for the beach. The reason it's for sale is that it's one of a row of 4 churches, ie too many shops for not enough customers so one has folded.
We joyously left footprints in the sand between the groynes and threw stones at seagulls. I got a bounce on the seafront trampolines and then we played minigolf in the rain, for we are of Pompey stock and a little deluge fazes us not.

It's a really good course and just like the trampolines, is open to the elements so very good for after the pub when the man has gone home and you hop over the little fence and you don't have to pay. Bud: 55. Jof: 92. Me: 116 - I win.

Driftwood Beach Bar and Grill for lunch. I did not get a Fruit Shoot because recently a 4 year-old choked to death on their new-fangled bottle top so they were all recalled at great expense.

Next activity: Dinosaur Isle. This is because it was still raining and they're inside. There's only so much you can get from a collection of dino fossils if you can't read the accompanying text, but there was a sandpit where you can excavate bones and a rubber crocodile upstairs that you can fight with a la Mick Dundee. The crystal skulls in the shop were £135 so I got 3 wooden snakes instead.

The rain had stopped so we tried to feed a Polo to a lonely moorhen on the lake (should you always carry a selection of emergency crusty bread?) and hit the "Steven Jenkins Rainbow Playground", apparently, a large play area split up into Kiddie area, a bit for me, an exercise park and a skatepark.

Drove back to the cottage past HMP Parkhurst, and Bud and I headed to the shore where the Dino museum assured us that we could find fossilised crocodile skin. We battled the coastal path. We battled the overgrowth (overgrown undergrowth). We battled the slippery rocks. We found nothing apart from rubbish, and we're not talking Coke cans here, it was destroyed sheds and actual boatwrecks.

We gave up and battled up the cliff towards the promised coastal path but got terminally trapped by dog roses, holly and brambles. Call yourself a Sherpa? Then it started to rain. We had to retrace our dangerous steps. At least no humans were harmed in the making of this movie, but really.

Drove round in a huge circle to find a shop for bread: this is a confusing island. We saw red squirrels today.

You know the soft play area that was shut for the duration? Well, today Jof found the real Monkey Bizness doing perfectly good business the other side of the rhythmic-gymnastics-for-old-people gym. I attacked it with vigour and my new Chinese friend from the changing rooms enlisted Buds' help to get the giant coconut-monkey up to the 3rd level so we could roll it down the curly tube slide and maim a small child.

Now. Last year we did our holiday at Butlins. This one is structurally similar - the 'Apartment' is laid out in the same way, but in Butlins there is so much more on campus. This one is much more of a base from which to investigate the surrounding countryside: so this is what we shall do. However, a bit of advice for future travellers - there's always stuff you'll forget - such as: kitchen timer, washing up brush, draining rack, more than 4 loo rolls, etc.