Guns that fire Shot

Woke up reasonably early but demanded extra time in bed to explode and make gunfire noises to myself. Mr Unfair hid the TV remote and made me write out a whole paragraph of Badger Project and then just when I thought it was TV time, we went down to the park because it wasn't raining.

I met Harry and Sam and Alfie and we played Goblin Attack and shot at each other across the park and Mr Never-Helpful pushed us on the Swinging Vomitorium for ages and when we left we were hot and thirsty.

Pops was still out so I Legoed. He rang the JBs and they scooted round and I wowed them with my collection of giant insects in resin and we built Lego constructions with drills and chains and then we realised it wasn't raining so we scooted to the park. There we did all the usual running around shooting at Bud with Bob's real actual cap gun rifle and soon the whole park reverberated to the sound of small arms fire.

For no apparent reason we invented a sports day. We scooted circuits, but singly, not in races. We ran circuits. We did sit-ups, push-ups, pulling/pushing yourself along the bench seats like that angled board at the gymnastics centre and tired ourselves out. Bob had brought a belt to secure his cordite-powered rifle and we used it in a variety of interesting ways (not including tourniquet).

We totally have to tell Ben about this randomly invented athletics competition, it was all self-inflicted, nobody told us to do anything.

Hobbit Corner
This episode concerns a question that vexes us all at some point in our lives. If you are the Landed Gentry (Farmers, estate owners, small holdings etc) then you may need one or more firearms for vermin, driven game and home security. But which one? Having purchased a converted farmhouse in half an acre of Dorset countryside, bordered on 2 sides by open fields and 1 side by a disused equestrian centre, Grandad decided he had to pack heat, and got himself a little over-and-under .410, mainly to pick off the odd pigeon sitting on the roof. He rarely used it and bagged a pigeon infrequently but did keep it loaded by the back door, just under the open box of shells, just right for any intruders to pick up on the way in. This is why it got quite rusty, but it was still functional. I first met it (unloaded) when I was 2 and the last time I was there we blew holes in some old cardboard boxes again, a splendid activity that has nothing to do with my penchant for making shooting noises all the time.

Of course, he couldn't take it with him to the old folks' home, so gave it back to the nice policeman when his licence ran out. This makes the whole world a safer place.