Giggles make the world go round

 

Engrish. Making Bud wet himself since 1975

This afternoon we made a date with Pops for later this week and then went Xmas shopping again. I independently correctly identified what Jof would like and we bought it. Bud wrapped it. I know exactly what he did and I thought it was funny as well, I have the ability to be 4, 17 and 42 all at the same time.

I think Ben might be interested in the Little Miss Mr Happy range of clothing for those who are happy not to have yet decided which way to go, he was such a good twinklefairy!

It's that time of the year

..........time for Xmas cards.
Now, obviously at my age, I don't have to think about whether Deaf Uncle Bob has died, whether Colin and Miriam didn't send us a card last year and whether Ingrid and Daniel have split up and so which one do we send a card to. My list should be a lot simpler to administer but of course I've just started school and there's 30 in my class alone. Do I really want to card all of them? And then if I don't send a card to my teacher will I end up with a D, go into the slow stream at junior school and end up as a sheep-brained ordinary disciple instead of a charismatic cult leader?
I brought this piece of work home from school today. It represents such a step change in my abilities (legible words, representative pictures) that Bud refused to believe it was mine, it caused quite an argument. Notice my 2 favourite things are there (Poppy and a train) but also strangely, a coral snake and a game of tennis.

Et in Arcadia Lego

Normally I'd build a tower with lego or construct a train track but today it was the rest of the Xmas decorations, I constructed the trees (we have 3) and then stood on a chair to hang baubles on them. I also cornered the market in paper chains, some of which are long and correctly made, some are a tangle of crosslinks.
In the afternoon we had a bike ride and Bud rode my bike down the slopes at the skatepark. At bedtime, they both inserted me into my pyjamas (Bud said it's like trying to fit 2 cats down the same toilet at the same time) but they were too small and clingy (Jof says that's like me) and I ended up looking like a ballet dancer.

Excess all areas

The student girlies had told us they were having a 21st party so we didn't hurry to bed. After supper we started to put up decorations with Jof's new CD called Physical graffiti by some new band called Led Zeppelin. Then at ten past nine it was bathtime so we listened to CD2 of the same album. Bedtime 1015 or so, can't remember, spent a lot of time connecting the 2 giant syringes via a length of plastic tubing, depressing plunger A so that plunger B is ejected with a pop. Video of this event not published due to willies.
The girlies were quiet - much quieter than a roomful of 4 year-olds. We could hear the karaoke with one too many inadvisable key changes but only just. In the morning we saw their one rebellious act - a bin lid in our garden.

Impatient Zero

Wibble and Captain Comatose join forces at last

Today I couldn't wait. The bus was too slow, Bud took far too long remembering why we were in Wilkinson's and I couldn't wait to get on with the "How many lifts and escalators can you go on in 1 day" challenge. But I soon forgot about that when he said we were going to buy a Chinese lantern. After that we rushed around looking at 4 different plastic guitars and 3 real ones before I realised that what I really wanted was a keyboard. I desperately required a Santa helium balloon until I discovered it kept floating around and I really wanted to see the un-humdrum drummers until we were up close - much too loud. At that point, I couldn't wait to get home and drape tinsel all over the dining chairs.

Bonus Vid: the drummers who annoyed the shopkeepers of Pompey all day

While I was playing Match the letter with Jof, Bud finished my latest dictated picture (a good trick if you can do it)

I bring music to the world

Today was the kiddie year play. We gathered together very slowly with many toilet breaks, then parents including Bud and Erinsdad helped us across the park to the venue. While us actors went upstairs to change, the parental escorts got the front pew, the hoi polloi who arrived later had to pile up at the back. All still/video photography was banned during the performance, a crying shame as it was such a spectacle. So instead, Bud recorded the running order.

ORDER OF EVENTS

Opening fanfare - Angels by Robbie Williams. Eight angelic girls arrived very slowly one by one down central aisle and took up position on the front step. At the end of the song, the narrator announced one last scuffy hapless angel - Whoops-a-daisy angel. Erin shows up, complaining that she only ever gets the rubbish jobs like counting snowflakes, not the important jobs given to the other, cleaner angels in their well-stitched regalia.

**Snowflake dance** with the 7 snowflakes, and the counting job isn't going well: "1,2,4, Oh bother, I'll have to start again...." Narrator handed wrong announcement card. As musician, I shook my shaker at this point.

Enter the crib: Little donkey song: donkey, Mary and Joseph line up by crib.

Narrator: Whoops gets a new job - fly to Bethlehem with a message for the shepherds on the hill. She brings the shepherds, each clutching a small stuffed sheep. Then she brings 3 kings and their manservants.

**Baby in a manger** during which Joseph yawns generously. The shepherds approach crib, donate 1 sheep each and retire hurriedly. Ditto 3 kings, once king #3 has been reminded by nearby teacher.

Angels line up behind Mary who brandishes a very small doll.

**Away in a manger** Most kids wave to their parents or crane necks trying to locate same during performance.

**Wake up come and see the baby (clapclap)** Mary and Joseph parade doll to kings and shepherds. As musician, I jingled my bells at this point.

Whoops returns in full dress uniform having been promoted for her success, and is surrounded by her groupies.

**Whoops-a-daisy** - now our story reaches the end.

**Come join in celebration** everyone dances and waves. Classes in audience wave flags frantically like a Chinese nuclear weapons parade. Whoops dances with the donkey.

Following 4 rounds of applause, silence for 1 prayer and the entire audience taking photos, we get to go home. Can I just say that I know the star of the show and I could put a word in, you know....

Bud (the boy who takes the biscuit) climbed the pulpit to take this one

While Bud was writing this for me, I sat on the desk and got in his way until he got the message and vacated the seat so I could play Pirate's treasure.

Do plumbers have pipe dreams?

Mecca's the other way, mate

Tomorrow is the annual "Nativity" where, amongst many hilarious incantations, we shall re-enact the fictional "Birth scene" of a cult based on an iron-age political prisoner. To be fair, no less logical that the other lot down the road whose central focus of worship is a meteorite that landed in the desert. I've got my costume ready, I get to play the shakers and the bells and I can't wait.

Apparently Erin (playing the part of Whoops-a-daisy angel or Oops-I-did-it-again fairy or something) has lost her script. Now, that's what I call getting into character.

Bud and Erinsmum met us by the park as we walked back from practice at the church, funny how they're always together. We decided to have a quick park session so picked up Pops on the way to meeting Erin down there. Less than half way along the pavement, Pops said she was looking forward to opening her Xmas presents.

Bud said I was only going to get one present this year, it was a penguin and I'd have to keep it in the bath. I howled and hyperventilated for the remaining few hundred yards and, hiding on a climbing frame, continued for another 10 minutes.

Chocolate broke the cycle and we played until we got cold and went back to ours for some drawing and skittles. Unfortunately 2 people on one springy bouncer means a squashed willy so I got off sharpish.

Afternoon tea with the Furtzwanglers

Those people who hold candlelight vigils. Are they candlelight vigilantes?

This afternoon I was showing Bud the numerous bits of "Artwork" I've brought home from school. One had a coded series of numbers printed on an attached card. He said it meant the 29th of December and asked me what happens on that date. I did not know. He likened my intelligence to that of a used teabag from the Kwiki-Mart if I don't know my own birthday. I beat him to within an inch of his life.
Later I played computer games for an hour and a half (including one endorsed by my school). Bud said I'd get a deep vein thrombosis, silly man, at my size I don't have any deep veins.

I am my own High Priest

Every night at bedtime I ritually chastise my thurible and then spend 10 minutes singing my own praises. Using the holy words "Waladisa alados aramata woo wooo araaaah!" I beseech myself to grant my prayers which are usually

1. To be as big as a giant
2. That there may be unlimited spaghetti meatballs and chocolate
3. That I may have a hovercraft

Mostly my prayers go unanswered, I'm still learning this being a god thing.
Today it was my turn to get the chocolate from the class advent calendar, that'll be 3 today, then.
Conversation at supper tonight:
Me: - "I'm gorgeous, aren't I?"
Jof: - "Yes"
Me: - "I'm sorry I can't stop farting, though"

The Bus Stop Blues

     ♪ ♫♫  "Ahm a-sittin' at the bus stop, waiting for a traaaaainn..........." ♫♫♪♪ twang

Well, I'm not really, I'm in after-school club as both Jof and Bud have the flu. Jof stayed home today and the peace and quiet helped. Today is post the letter to Santa day: I have asked for a guitar and this time it's practically legible. Unfortunately English is not my first language (I come from a long germ line of Rubbish-speakers crossed with a clone set from the planet Gobbledegook) but I'm getting better.

So what will Santa bring me? Mostly I'm hoping for a Strat or 12-string Rickenbacker but I did rather enjoy the country band in Dorset last year so maybe a Dobro with bottle slide. Bud says that given the current length of my fingers a baby banjer may have to do.