Life, complicated as a Denobulan Prenup

So the great beanstalk story will remain unfinished. Started with determination, it became my entry in Ben's writing challenge but it doesn't matter if it tails off..... I can tell you that the item Jack finds on the giant's dinner table was going to be a magic lamp so staying true to the original narrative was not compulsory.
My teacher says if I lose interest in something move on, so publish and be damned!

Yet another builderman came round to talk about walls and then Jof came home early so fun, fun, fun!

My teacher says I have to be in bed for 8pm instead of my usual 9 so this has made showertime/bedtime an even more energetic affair as I'm just not tired. In fact I can protest my alertness while yawning simply by waving a finger...

That's all he wrote

There’ve been good times and bad, I’ve been happy and sad

I’ve been normal and mad, both nouveau and trad

I can never be James Bond; I’m a fish in the wrong pond

So it’s getting unlikely that I’ll patch up my psyche

In my second grave I’ll spin, before I balance Yang and Yin

Thank God Jung and Freud are dead; don’t want them inside my head

But to those who’ve known my history, there’s never been a mystery

We’re all different people under this sun, it's just that I’m from another one

Thicker than blood

Don't trust 'em. This is what my Dad says, and why I won't get my road licence for a while yet.

 In other news, one of Bud's favourite guitarists has progressed to the ranks of Bud's favourite dead guitarists. I guess Gary Moore will be playing at the Bath Fizzer Night Concert this Saturday night.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EISLTTsRtbA

 I've done about as much of the fracture clinic poster as I'm going to, I can show it off at school tomorrow. I'm not sure why assorted overjoyed fruit and veg should have broken limbs but that's the sort of madness we 5 year-olds have to put up with.

These are the days of our lives (Queen)

It's Elizabeth's party today and I'm looking forward to seeing all my old Puddle mates (apart from Pops who's visiting elderly relatives).
The Bone Doctor told me I had to bend my arm as much as possible because it'll be stiff from being in a plaster for 3 weeks. Therefore I have spent the last 3 days walking around with it hung out to the side doing nothing, frightened of it breaking again. The true test will come in a minute at the party.
 True to form, I got stuck in straight away and haven't mentioned my arm since. We all got together to bury Ben under all of the soft shape things in this picture and did all the usual chasing each other through the tunnels etc. Elizabeth is a year younger so we saw her year group that we haven't seen for months including
Harrison, Ethan, Holly, Fletcher and Hannah.

 Some of the Puddleparents were a little quiet after a night at the pub and there were plenty of Yummy Mummies.

Look.....the hovercraft's landing...

For some reason, Erin (resplendent in her crimson getup) decided to ferry all the soft shape things over to the rope bridge access point onto the boat thus blocking it completely and stranding several smaller shipmates who couldn't climb over the obstacle.

In the afternoon Bud did 2 more trips to the tip while Jof and I went to Giant Tesco to get all the stuff for the party bags next week. I filled the bags myself so girls should expect socket sets and the boys should expect everything to be pink.

Fusion food of the day:    Sauerkraut in chilli dipping sauce (Nazi Goreng)

Castaway: the next generation

Got Bud up at the crack of 10am. He always lets me sleep in after lagernight, he's considerate like that.
Still don't know what to do today.

Eventually we emerged blinking into the drizzly morning at eleven something. We did the usual bottlebank and park circuit, I remembered to take a ball with us so we kicked and threw it near each other until the rain got too much. Erin pulled up near us and gesticulated wildly through the car window and then we met Pops as well. Our walk took us near the football stadium where we saw the car lifter lorry taking away cars that were parked in the wrong place: I've always enjoyed them so we stayed to watch one get removed. Its alarm went off and its lights flashed, all very exciting.

After lunch 1 we took the bus into town and bought some more bath fizzers, for I shall need them tonight. We then stole the car (leaving Jof with no way to bring home all the stuff she had piled up) and drove home for lunch 2. Bud loaded up 8 tubs with broken bricks from the old bonfire and we filled the car (any more and the suspension would probably have died) and went to the tip. I put all the small brick bits in the skip, he did the big bits. Of course he was encouraging me to use my stiff arm but I didn't know that. I quite fancied doing a second load so we asked the nice official in the enormous yellow coat when they closed and he said "As soon as you're out of the gate, mate".

We sailed out of the Council Household Recyling Amenity Site (Tip) waving regally as the brightly coated man held the gate open for us. Bud loaded up the 8 tubs again for the morning leaving the fireplace looking very sad but definitely not finished, wonder how many trips it'll take.
I have informed Bud that he will have to do another giant picture of madness. The fracture clinic colour-in picture is all very well but I've got plans.
I have a funny foreign coin collection of approx 450, all different: this week has been most profitable with Bud getting one from the till at his work canteen, Martin the bonfire helper bringing one in and Jof finding 4 in a cupboard at work. This is all very well. But jof brought this back today.....

Holy moley. Now, if any of my alien friends explode, I'm qualified to clean them up!

Today's the day O yea verily forsooth gadzooks

Hospital day again. Perhaps today the Big Bone Doctor will put his X-ray telescope on his bad eye and say "I see no cracks" and I'll be free of this cast forever.....
Bud picked me up from school and I got a special pass-out (not the sort Elizabeth's Dad has) to say I was allowed out. We parked on the top floor of the multi-storey carpark right in the corner, one of only 4 cars to have bothered to go that far up. We took the lift to floor 1 and then the same lift back up to floor 4 where the exit was.

Castaway!!        In the torture chamber.....

In the fracture clinic waiting room there was a selection of short people with arms or legs in plaster and we all sized each other up to see who had the worst injury.
The nurses were very kind and sat me in a large chair to take the cast off. They have a special kind of disc cutter that goes sideways up the limb to cut through the hard bit. It looked really cool: until she turned it on. I howled and screamed and lashed out and hyperventilated and then went back to screaming. The nurses shut the doors so the other children wouldn't think bad things went on in the little room. After one minute the cast was off and in the bin but that was no reason to stop.
Bud escorted me to a table in the waiting room where one by one, a delegation of all the other patients came up to me to see why I was making the funny noises. Their mothers removed them.
Bud took me into the very long corridor (where there weren't people pointing and staring) to calm me down. While I was howling, the next kid in the queue went in, had his cast removed, saw the doctor and went home, cheeky whatnot. Eventually Bud took me outside and started eating his lunch at me while the blustery wind robbed me of my body heat (short-sleeved shirt only) - that made me stop in seconds and we were able to go back inside. Does 25 minutes howling count as daily exercise?
We sat eating lunch waiting for the doc - I'd missed my place in the queue and had to go last. By then I'd forgotten all about it and Bud promised me he wouldn't tell anyone so you'd all better keep quiet.
Back at school all my friends gathered around me to see my considerably less interesting arm.
In the afternoon: Shower Of The Century™. Two shampooings, 3 soapings and a promise of bath fizzer night tomorrow. I will obey the nice nurse (so she doesn't chase me with her spinning cast-chopper) and colour in the whole fracture clinic poster she gave me; I plan to take it to school to show off.
Supper was: macaroni cheese with sweetcorn, chocolate yogurt, babybel cheese rotunda, blueberries, chocolate, Marks and Spencer crispy prawns in batter (including 3 stolen from Bud's plate, but not the chilli sauce). I wouldn't want to be our toilet tomorrow.

Poet's corner
Old "Strangely" Brown was a fine chap, there, I've said it.
Did more for fabric softener than anyone would credit.
And a full-page Times obituary I'm sure they had to edit,
Goes on about his wife a lot, in case you hadn't read it

Graze anatomy

I fell over in the playground yesterday and I have a lovely big graze/bruise on my knee, just the way it used to be. As the weather improves and I lose the plaster cast, I should be able to increase my average graze holding to the usual 3 per knee.
Jof has made a practice cake for my birthday party and I was roped in to help decorate it. The squeezy red icing was very difficult to squeeze until Bud microwaved it a little and then we made a dinosaur with it. In order to save paper I have a picture with both my grazed anatomy and the practice cake.

This afternoon I'm at a scheduled meeting at BigMax's house. I've taken the pirate treasure game, let's see how good he is. Just as I was going, it was lovely and sunny and I thought I should be down the park. And to add insult to injury (costs an arm and a leg) I discover that my 2 fave girlies (Erin and Pops) are off down Crazikaves together this afternoon. I want to be in 3 places at once!!

Spent a few hectic hours round at BigMax's where we threw all the teddies down the stairs and were followed around the whole time by his baby sister. I didn't want to come home but then there was a Jof which made it all better.

Language college sub 2

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Usuts’man Anglereny vorpes yerkrord lezu

Aysorva t’yemanery dprots’um ein :

1 . Daser barrapashar, k’yerakanut’yunn u ughghagrut’yuny sksnakneri hamar . Im ynker usanoghneri yev yes k’nnarkel yen mi shark’ nor barrer , mer usuts’ich’y ogtagortselov flashcards , apa menk’ ogtagortsets’ink’ nrants’ nakhadasut’yunneri khumb dzerrnarky .

2 . Tevoghut’yun . Vor dasatu t’uyl tvets’ yntrel der - khaghal , sousov ver kam aghyus , shenk’. Yes nakhyntrum yem rresursneri khaghum volorty yev gitakan ​​nor ughiner karruts’yel ashtarakner .

3 . Breaktime . Interaktiv klas , iharke lav yen ynt’anum , yev , hetevelov hamaparp’ak k’nnut’yunner , banakhosn asum yem, hima funkts’ia .

4 . Khagher , yerger , patmut’yunner, k’aghak’avari zruyts’i , yev mi -i mek yerkkhosut’yany. Dasakargayin hetevum e azgayin tsragir , bolor chanaparhy hamalsaranum.

5 . Grely. Im geghagrut’yun t’voghnum mi k’ich’ petk’ e ts’ankali , bayts’ shnorhakalut’yun e p’vordzagety usman vardzy yes ch’yem karogh ayzhm grum parz khosk’yery yev arrants’k’ayin artahaytut’yunner.

Shutov husov yem , khosek’ angleren nman mayreni yev voch’ t’ye asum yen baner , inch’pes « Yes arel ayd », « Mek, yerku , azat »yev « Yes uzum yem nrants’ shokolad » .

Kogtvem im blogy sovorel angleren. T’armats’vel e t’yert’y. Patmek’ Dzer usuts’ich’y / lezun k’volejum .

======================================= http://professormungleton.blogspot.com/

Ikinci dil kimi Learning İngilis dili

Məktəbdə Bu gün mövzular:

1. Leksik, qrammatik və imla başlayanlar üçün ders. Mənim yoldaşım tələbə və mən müəllim flashcards istifadə edərək, bir sıra yeni sözlər müzakirə: sonra biz bir qrup eğitimde cümlələrində onlara istifadə olunur.

2. Oyun zamanı. Bu ders kərpic-tikinti və ya up sarğı, rol oynamaq seçmək üçün bizə imkan verdi. Mən oyun sahəsi və qüllələr qurmaq tədqiqat yeni yollarla qaynaqları üstünlük verirlər.

3. Breaktime. Interaktiv hopscotch kurs və yaxşı gedir hərtərəfli imtahanları aşağıdakı, məruzəçi indi bilir am edir.

4. Oyunlar, mahnılar, hekayələr, nəzakətli söhbət və bir-bir dialoq. Sınıf milli tədris proqramı universitet bütün yolu aşağıdakı kimidir.

5. Yazı. My hat istədiyiniz üçün ancaq ekspert təhsil sayəsində indi sadə söz və açar söz yaza az yaradır.

Mən və bir ana kimi İngilis dili danışmaq ümid olmayan şeyi kimi, "Bir, iki, pulsuz" "Mən bu görülən de: " və "Mən onlara şokolad istəyirəm".

İngilis dili üçün my blog istifadə edin. GÜNLÜK yeniləndi. Sizin müəllim / language kollec deyin görək.

====================================== http://professormungleton.blogspot.com/

 Ikastea bigarren hizkuntza gisa ingelesa

Gaur egungo eskolan gai izan ziren:

1. Hiztegi, gramatika eta ortografia hasiberri ikasbideak. Nire ikaskide ikasle eta I eztabaidatu hitz berriak zenbait irakasle flashcards erabiliz: gero erabili dugu esaldi talde bat tutorialean.

2. PLAYTIME. The aurkeztu digu rol play aukera eman, aldagela edo adreilu-eraikina. Baliabideak nahiago dut jokoan eta ikerketa bide berriak dorreak eraiki zuten.

3. Breaktime. Interaktiboa hopscotch ikastaroa ondo doa eta, erabateko azterketak ondoren, irakasle dio orain menderatuko naiz.

4. Jokoak, abestiak, ipuinak, adeitsu elkarrizketa eta bat-to-one elkarrizketa. Klasea da nazio curriculuma, Unibertsitate bide guztiak egin ondoren.

5. Idatziz. Nire kaligrafia pixka bat nahi dira, baina aditu matrikula esker orain ezin dut hitz errazak eta gako-esaldiak idaztea uzten du.

Laster, bertako bat bezala ingelesez hitz egin dut eta espero ez esateko gauza bezala, "Bat, bi, free" "Hau egin dut", eta "txokolateak nahi dut".

Erabili nire blog ingelesa ikasteko. Egunero eguneratzen da. Esan zure irakasle / Hizkuntza Eskola.

=============== http://professormungleton.blogspot.com/

Вывучэнне англійскай мовы ў якасці другога мовы

тэмы дня ў школе былі:

1. Урокі ў лексіцы, граматыцы і арфаграфіі для пачаткоўцаў. Мае аднакурснікі, і я абмеркаваў некаторыя новыя словы з нашым настаўнікам выкарыстаннем картак: тады мы выкарыстоўвалі іх у прапановах ў групе падручніка.

2. Час гучання. Рэпетытар дазволілі нам выбраць ролевыя гульні, перапрананне або цагляныя будынка. Я аддаю перавагу рэсурсаў у галіне гульні і даследаванні новых спосабаў будаваць вежы.

3. Breaktime. Інтэрактыўны курс класікі ідзе добра, і, пасля ўсебаковага абследавання, выкладчык кажа, што я цяпер вольны.

4. Гульні, песні, апавяданні, ветлівы размова, і адзін-да-адзін дыялог. Клас наступныя нацыянальныя навучальныя праграмы, усе шляхі ва ўніверсітэт.

5. Даць. Мой каліграфіі лісце трохі лепшага, але дзякуючы экспертаў вучобе зараз я магу пісаць простыя словы і ключавыя фразы.

Неўзабаве я спадзяюся гаварыць па-ангельску, як родны, а не казаць такія рэчы, як "Я зрабіў гэта ", "Раз, два, свабодны", і "Я хачу, цукерак".

Выкарыстоўвайце мой блог, каб вывучаць ангельскую мову. Абнаўляецца штодня. Раскажыце сваім настаўнікам / Language College.

========================= http://professormungleton.blogspot.com/

Noli me tangere

Jof had a day off today (to pay her back for doing Saturday) so she picked me up from school. This is much better than boring Bud anyway and we saw him drive off to buy himself a 3rd bike pump. Erin seems to be grounded for the same reasons I should be so perhaps we can meet up soon and compare notes. We played hide the pirate treasure again, I'm having to give Jof clues as to whereabouts in the room the object is, once the location changed when I swapped ends of the room and she worked out it was in my pocket. It's also been stuck to the back of a birthday card on the mantelpiece....Bud says I can join the CIA but they shoot cult leaders, don't they? Our post-prandial game was too difficult - Bud hid them blu-tacked to the underside of chairs, lamps, behind Erin's Corfu postcard etc. More disciplinary battles later: Bud thinks I should experience discipline, I do not.

Rise and Shine

Another tough day at school. At going home time LittleMax and I found so many reasons to stay in the classroom that Bud had to come in and get us (not for the first time). Yesterday he deliberately went into a shop to separate us as we distract each other so much it takes us 15 minutes to walk the 300 yards home. After a certain amount of sulking under the table (Bud still hasn't learnt to obey my every whim without question) I played Jof's computer game

http://www.mindjolt.com/games/marble-lines

which I'm quite good at and certainly helps my mouse skills and forces me to read things like "continue" and "play again". Pops and Erin were out so no joy there. A bit more Tom and Jerry and Jof was home and we played hide the pirate treasure (I hid the little cardboard treasure chest key in the CD platter of the radio, the winning move).

Tomorrow is the last of the 3 show'n'tells and I have selected the bath spy submarine. Bud has given me a cribsheet with important details on such as "Shop in Dockyard" and "Bath" to help me: he wonders if there's any tell at all to go with the show as I can barely remember anything (this talent directly inherited). I guess I won't be able to demonstrate it in action unless I gain access to the fishtank outside the Headmistress' office.

Poet's corner

When I survey the wond'rous cross

I find it's twelve feet up and six across