Welcome to the Hotel Trapatoni

Yet another mouse in the kitchen trap today. Unlike those canny mice of old (ie 3 months ago), these new young fearless stupid modern mice with their hoodies and mouse-caps on backwards blunder into our traps, which welcome them with open jaws. The old lot used to slide the flapjack morsels off the traps and crunch them in a corner, not like the neophytes of today. Hoho.
Anyway, I had a double bogey at school today, which meant a sulk all the way home.
First, Eddie W accused me of moving his book-bag and shouted "Oi did you touch my coat" at me, which made me feel bad. He is a brute of a boy, bigger than the teacher (who is not large), IQ in the sixties, who will end up as the unemployable pub bruiser who shouts "Oi did you spill my pint" at you before lumping you one in the eye, because it is all he knows how to do.
Also, I've read hundreds of pages of Harry Potter 5 this week, but because I forgot to hand in my completed reading record first thing in the morning, I didn't get the required '3 Reads' and my score dropped so the class score dropped, and people said I let the side down.
But I am not just a quivering bullied wordsmith, my quiver runneth over with inspirational arrows and I got my retaliation in first by inventing the Tequila Wormhole, inspired by the 'Purest Green' invented by Elizabeth's Dad. This will give you an internal glow and a trip to other worlds in a vortex of love. Later I finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis which gets me the film and some spelling lessons. On the way to swimming he explained how basic the first Daleks were 60 years ago, with their static sink plungers and glow-sticks with the bit sticking out, and the eyeball on a stick that is vulnerable to hat attack, and the students pushing them in threatening fashion along the smooth corridors of Television House. I nearly widdled myself with laughter.