Thursday 22 January 2015

Political Prisoners: The 'Disappeared'

garage repair bill funny women driversWell it was a bit cold this morning and we had to scrape the frost off the car so we were a bit tight for time so Jof pulled in outside the school gates and that's when the police vans hemmed us in and the ObergruppenfĂĽhrer stuck his head in the window and said 'We know you done it, miss, 'cos we saw yer' and we had to drive round the corner and the Sturmabteilung let me go and the last I saw of Jof was when she shouted 'avenge my death' and I had to cross the road by the lollipop lady with black unmarked Stasi helicopters hovering menacingly overhead.
So for the rest of the day I didn't know whether she'd been put on a cattle train in an easterly direction or had done that thing out of the Cannonball Run where you undo your top, lean forward and say what seems to be the problem, officer. Personally I think it's persecution of the family because they know that Ben 2 and I are writing Harry Potter 8 which must be a proscribed book, fit only for burning in the town square.
Well, that's what I told everyone in class.
So at going-home time I collected Ben 2 and we had the usual joint flight-of-fancy stream of consciousness all the way home but this time about spells. We have jointly invented Expelleondia which shoots icy daggers and extra syllables, Vine-ra which summons vines from the ground to entrap your enemies, Runro and Slowro which changes the speed of the user relative to his surroundings, and Bildo which makes a building out of blocks, although that one needs batteries.
looking up harry potter spells on the internet
As soon as he saw my house he kept saying how he'd never been in such a big house full of stuff so I didn't let him forget that by banging on about flexible accommodation and wealth of original features.
But soon enough we turned to the magic internet and sourced (or sorcered) a wider range of pre-wrought spells from Anteoculatia which turns your hair into antlers to Epeco Pratronom which repels Dementors. Spelling is not important to us Wizards, it's the flick of the wand and confident pronunciation of the spell.
And we pigged Maltesers and Haribo and he was retrieved by one of his mothers. Jof did return and apparently didn't even get a ticket because she looked trustworthy.

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