404: Summer not found

Summer is still downloading, process complete by the weekend (if you believe the weatherguessers).

Today I brought home all my art, writing and maths books etc, it'll take a long time to go through that lot. However, I was particularly proud of my self-portrait, although it's not as good as Boberts', with its giant eyelashes.

This afternoon was supposed to be a day off but Jof had one too so Bud forced us out on a shopping trip with no explanation. Hey presto, we arrived at Halfords in Ocean Park and I was able to choose a brand new army bike with 18 inch wheels which will last me ages. It's got spikes to shred the tyres of Boudiccas' chariot and everything. This will mean an active summer.

It also means I'll be able to keep up with my mates when on their bikes, and Bud when he's running. I then coaxed Jof into ToysR'us with my eye on yet another Hero or Moshi or Ninjago or similar. In the end, I bleated on and on about the Lego Fire Station (£50) so much that I became the weakest link and left with nothing. However I was treated (?) to a McDonalds Lumps'O'Poultry™ and Scalding Cylindrical Greasebombs® while Jof had (and regretted) a Burger.

While we did that, Bud ran home but took the chance to check out the current Thursday football arrangement. Ben and the JBs were there as usual and the setup looked nice. But also present were Brandon (Year R), Adam from Beavers (Year 2), LittleMax from my class and possibly a couple of others. Therefore I believe that next year I may give up my one day off and join them, for it is not as frightening as once I thought.

Looking for a spoon in the knife drawer

Nearly the end of the school year! Bud says I have my mothers' intelligence - he's still got his.
Today I got a certificate for 100% attendance through the year. I should probably take the next 2 days off as sickies.
Wednesday park was a non-starter. Ben was off with Oscar and it was raining anyway. So I went round to the JoniBobs because I haven't been there for ages and it was their turn anyway. We Legoed and Heroed and made an excellent den in their bedroom. Since watching something unsettling on TV, Johnny hasn't been sleeping too well so they have shoved their bunk beds together to be closer at night.

This has meant less efficient space usage in their room but a massive internal space for dens - all you've got to do is drape a couple of sheets and duvets from the top bunks and you've got a Bedouin Cathedral fit for a Sheikh. We all built Lego tanks until Bobert got bored and wanted me to play outside the den - I was busy so he got in a huff because nobody was playing with him and told on me twice for being rude. Bud took this to be going home time and we left the BonnieJobs and met up with Jof who was going right back out again.

The PuddleMummies are always on the lookout for extra activities to get them out of housework. So when one of them heard that the WI (yes, the Women's Institute for blue-rinsed officious cake makers) was opening a branch locally, they jumped at the chance to be the youngest ones there. They met up at Gunwharf and went to the Aspex Gallery for the meeting.

A short while later, Jof walked out as she just didn't require any more committee meetings and cake judging galas, self-aggrandisement and power struggles in her life.

The Power and the Money

All is strangely quiet in Pompey as the Olympic Flaming Torch has left. But really, we're all just biding our time for a few days until the end of term! Maybe summer will arrive for the summer holidays, they're certainly talking about this alleged jet stream.

Today was superhero day so I dressed as "Lightning Shock" with my speedy T-shirt, cape, trousers with lightnings on and a golden mask that had to be taken away by the teachers to have a bird poo cleaned off it, I kid you not. I was the only Weather God, there were 3 Iron Mans and lots of Superman/Spiderman style purchased costumes. Anyway we got our run in the park and ate the flapjacks and banana bread we had prepared earlier, then played football and tried for a world record of number of kids in a swinging basket.

Of course I was still wearing this generic/random superhero getup at going home time so we walked to LIDL for more juices for school dinners (only 3 days left, surely?) and then I did Gymnastics in it, for it seemed churlish to change. Jof had made me lots of little laminated card lightnings to throw at people and they all came out of my pocket when we did forward rolls so they had to be left at the side. Opportunity knocked for a go in Alexandra swingpark so I was thoroughly exercised by the end. I ate a strawberry flavoured custard in the car on the way home, which was a ...  moving experience, especially on the bumpy roads of the car park.

The Olympic torch departs

Bud got me up when there was a 5 in the time and we dressed silently and slipped out at 0605. I arrived at school at ten past, with all my lucky colleagues, including Emma Puddle and Lewis Puddle, a good showing from our old Alma Mater. A thousand schoolchildren are due to see off the torch from Fratton Park football stadium and experience some sideline events. Here is the ground at 0615 where lots of security personnel were wandering around and the car park (with burger vans) was filling up.

Schedule

Be seated by 0645

Local dance performance and workshop. They were quite energetic and we had to join in in the stands. The 2 large areas of white things are little flags as made by thousands of local schoolchildren: not sure if they survived the rain.

Pompey Music Service Singathlon project. A large lady made the choir sing while the men from the BBC shoved microphones and cameras at them.

Flame arrives 0729, the Lord Mayor did a speech in his funny costumes and the newspapers took photos. I got 3 blurry photos of the mayor but like the parable of the girlies with the oil lamps, my old and tired camera battery died at this point so I didn't actually record the flame itself. Luckily, the BBC man recorded it and I have put a big red arrow on it pointing right at me! I have a red coat.

Flame leaves 0734,

Young Portsmouth Poet Laureate performs.

Breakfast with Linvoy Primus: I had orange juice and a healthy cereal bar.

Sports challenge and street dance in the car park. I learnt a new and exciting dance routine with many jumps and kicks.

I got a specially printed souvenir, map of the route and ticket.

0830: go to school. This was a let-down in comparison but you can't win them all.

At Jofs' instigation I had a shower before going to Beavers so I could crash out at 730 if required. I said I never get tired, we'll see.

At Beavers we had biscuits, games with prizes and a balloon fight. I now own Elton John orange plastic star specs and also Groucho Marx glasses'n'tache combo, so now have ready disguises, and I don't have to go back until September, although that's a bad thing. I had a bit more food and was abed for 830.
The Torch ran to Brighton (where it met the Drizzlekicks again) and out of our lives forever. But (use Eddie Murphy shout here) I was there, man, yeah! I made it count, baby, I was the man, I wuz, wzwz....snore zzzzzzzzz

The Olympic torch arrives

Up at half past 7 today, still far too early for a weekend but followed directions and got dressed and went downstairs to play Lego. Unfortunately the 7 people in my head do not understand quietness: I hoot and clang and tweet and warble non-stop without knowing I'm doing it so Bud had to get up anyway.

As part of the ongoing Park Revisit program, we drove to Hilsea Lido park, seeing the BBC outside broadcast bus arriving in Portsmouth to welcome the torch. It's classed as a small, with partial decking, sand and only the 1 climbable construct. It has been somewhat damp of late and there were massive puddles, even in the sand. There was also a boy who sang his Oooeee-oo song the whole time we were there, I think he's a bit nerbly in the head to be honest.

Then we climbed the Hilsea Ramparts just by the keep off sign and found some people water-skiing in the moat. They had a pulley system and 4 boys were taking it in turns to ski. They kept falling in so we laughed at them, but so did their mates so we didn't feel bad. Further round the corner were 7 or 8 canoeists. I instantly wanted to do it: the "Try Kayak" 2 hour taster session is run by AdventureCollege and costs £30 so may have to be next year when my arms are a little stronger.

In the afternoon, the city filled up as the Torch neared its destination. Rizzle Kicks are playing at the party on the seafront so millions of teenage girls gravitated towards the field in front of the war memorial.

Jof has no bike so started walking to meet the Puddlers and I watched TV until leaving time. We both cycled to the pre-planned viewing place which turned out to be a very good call. The brass band that plays at the beer festivals was outside Mercantile House opposite a pub where chaps were kissing other chaps out of pure happiness and gaiety. We locked the bikes and waited.

After quite a lot of nothingness, all the police bikes came past a third time and then it all kicked off. Buses of many colours trooped past, blatting and bugling and tweeting and running girlies handed out inflatable sausages that you're supposed to bang together. Many important Police controllers discussed things and a thin girlie got out of a battle bus with a torch that wasn't alight. People came past hawking Union Jack flags for £2, plastic medals and much other quality merchandise.

Then absolutely nothing happened for a bit but the security guards looked worried anyway. Then in the distance we saw it from our advantageous vantage point. A granny in white jogged along with the torch: she was accompanied by several beefy chaps and a few hundred followers, running, scooting and cycling. She approached and then the flame was passed on: the younger thinner more photogenic girlie who had been waiting had her torch lit by the granny and after a bit more photo-opportunism off she went, with the band trumpeting away melodiously.

We got our bikes and used a quieter side road to avoid the circus and arrived at a very busy seafront. The whole world was there (well, 70,000 of them, anyway) so we scanned for faces while he tried repeatedly but ineffectually to get hold of anyone on the phone. The only face we saw was Pops' sister Ruby.

Text messages were taking between 25 minutes and 2 hours to land and reception failed us many times. We cris-crossed the vast field of humanity many times with no luck. In the end Jof saw us but it turned out she'd not found any Puddlers either and she'd been there for ages. Swizzlestix had long gone and we never even saw the flame in its big bucket on the stage, luckily we'd seen the torch transfer ceremony.

We spent a couple of quid in the arcades and started our ride home down one-way streets. Jof trudged off again in search of life-sustaining chips and finally managed to board a bus in Albert Road minutes before expiring of exhaustion.

And I've got to do it all again tomorrow.

YOLO (Carpe Diem for the young)

Saturday, so I got up at ten to 7 to wake Jof up, jump up and down and demand breakfast. As she has had a bad cold for days and has had no sleep, she was singularly unimpressed and there was unhappiness. For quiet time purposes, Bud took me out while Jof searched for hotel rooms to get away from it all tonight: she failed unless she was prepared to go to Birmingham (the south is full).

 

We met Elizabeth Puddle by the library and we convoyed down to the Co-op and on to Tunnel park. We explored the woods where all the sticks were too wet to rub together to make fire. We walked round the train track and did some quality swingparkwork with Hannah Puddler and her sisters.

Suddenly, there was a Black Cloud Alert and hey presto, the heavens opened and we waited it out in the butchers (bacon and black pudding).

After lunch, Jof went back to bed and Bud procured me a Ben (Pops was busy) and we hit Playzone Cosham for some fun.

This is where I had my 4th birthday party and it's the one with the slides of death. It was VERY busy with at least 3 birthday parties going on and lots and lots of sweaty locals.

I did the blue slide and the black tube slide and the rainbow slide: both of us did attack chase with Bud and Ben did the Red Devil slide many times (too big for me) and even the giant red slide once, although he had to hold Buds' hand on the way down.

When the place shut on us we headed back in un-triumph to his place for lego mayhem and then we trashed his room. The last we heard was Mr Ben quarkling in disbelief that HE'd have to clean it up - revenge for me, for all those times he'd helped me trash my room and then I had to clear it up after he'd gone. To be fair, this applies to all visits of all my friends, as it does when I've visited them.

We woke Jof up and started cutting out little cardboard lightnings for my superhero outfit. The early night Jof had planned for me (have to be up well early @ approx 0530 on Monday) didn't quite work out due to far too much fun with my Lego Police boat + submarine attack in the bath).

Evasive manoeuvres in the dark

Today is Friday the 13th again but as a child, I wouldn't know the difference. However during the night I had bad dreams so I disturbed Jof by snuggling up to her for an hour until she turfed me out. I wriggle and sniff and fidget at the best of times so she got severely reduced sleep on top of the no sleep she was already getting because her cold has moved to her chest giving her that eternal rasping cough that we all love. Poor old Jof, let's hope she can rest in peace tonight.

Of late, I have started to wear my night-mask thing in bed. You know, the little eye-mask you used to get on the British Airways long-haul flights to Johannesburg. Perhaps I could instead choose to sleep without the night light on.

At school today the Year 2s performed "Snow White and the 7 dwarves", an ebullient, nay, incandescent production with villagers, royalty, trees, a horse race with actual bookies and absolutely no dwarves, a bold foray into modern fusion entertainment. Shakespeare would surely have approved. Valete, Year 2s and bon voyage to the Junior school adjacent to our hallowed asphalt.

Swimming was great, I managed a whole length again but during supper the grey clouds of headache and tiredness enveloped me and I was crashed out in bed by 7pm. No doubt the shenanigans of last night and the full working (and playing) week were factors. With luck I shall awake at a reasonable hour fully refreshed.

In other news, at Giant Tesco last weekend Bud found a new beer "Diamond Reign" at a mere £1 per bottle where one would normally expect to pay at least £2. One wonders whether sales of this beer are better than its ill-fated predecessor "Golden Reign".

Nothing but blue skies

Awoke today to a lovely blue sky, just goes to show that England can do it when it wants to.
However by going home time the rain was back and we sloshed to Little Tesco to buy a Euromillions lottery ticket (£65 million) to try and score enough wonga to emigrate.

As we got home, Pops drove past which was a clear invitation. I took the old video camera round to hers, because I need extra practice for when I take it to the Olympic torch ceremony on Monday.

While I was out, Ben and the JBs rang to invite me over. I really wanted to go but was otherwise engaged.

At least I had the decency to come back after an hour or so and ask permission to stay for supper - chicken bits and peas, neatly avoiding the pasta in cheese sauce that had been freshly prepared for me. As if by magic, my T-shirt for tomorrows' dress-up-as-a-superhero party in the park was also completed in fabric pen.

The pictures I took weren't exactly a modelling portfolio with many studies of the floor, some boots and a chair (3), still life representations of architectural aspects of Popshouse (the staircase from inside the under-stairs cupboard, the TV) and quite a lot of my finger. But it's all practice. I was forcibly removed from her house at 7pm, yet another 3 hour session. We fought him for posession and nearly won. I demanded extra food, as usual.

Blame it on the bogey

A thunderstorm passed over us today at school and made some of us scream. I maintain that I did not hear it, but Erin did, so it must have been very localised. As soon as one happens after school, I'll be outside as I'm a lightning-chasing thunder junkie.

This painting on the left has hung in our hallway for the last 11 years. We all know the chap in question is pretend, like Santa Claus, but is still good for a pun.

After school the clouds were moody, wet and 50 shades of grey and the park was like a lake so I invited Erin round to mine for play and she jumped at it. We did some quiet legoing until Ben and the JBs arrived and the decibel level went up. We started work on a Lego city, but also retired to the front room to watch Phineas and Ferb and draw.

The chocolates were passed round (Bobert stole the whole bag but was caught so he did the only howl of the day) and the broken biscuits made an appearance to fuel our evil desires and yet another increase in noise level.

Somehow we managed to find Radio 1 on the TV and turned it up for a disco. Then we started jumping off the sofa: this is an age-old pastime. We take it in turns to stand on the edge, ululate a war cry and jump to our collective dooms on the lava-floor below. Then we queue up and do it all again. This time I'm a teensy-weensy bit absolutely sure that each of the ululations contained the full -ing of the F-word but luckily the door was shut and none of the parents twigged.

Gradually we stripped but Erin couldn't because she's only got a 1-piece. Some of us LegoHeroed upstairs which is where we found the giant orange balloons from the school fayre. These were great but one died in mysterious circumstances near the TV.

As time wore on we completed the Lego city with added vehicles, played cricket with Moshi monsters and a plastic rifle (as you do) and performed the theme song from Phineas and Ferb using only 1 Hawaiian ukelele, a gun and 2 loud boys.
By going-home time the sky was blue but you just can't trust it, JBsMum was hailed on today.
Later we discovered why the balloon died. The little lamp had been knocked over and the labour-saving lightbulb had smashed, leaving shards and mercurial deposits on the floor. This resulted in an unexpected hoovering. The TV remote also gave up but was resuscitated. Jof was not happy and has banned all small people (even Grandad) from the TV room. I continued happily singing to my lego city.

Modern Rhinos: increasingly irrelephant

One of these days there's going to have to be a Monopoly tournament between us Piddlers. We all have experience of victory (some more than others), but I suspect we'll need an adjudicator/bodyguard.
Erin performed a magic trick today at school which had us all impressed, changing the order of some coloured balls in a tube. It made me want to enter the traditional end-of-year talent contest but I don't know what I'll do.

We drove to Gymnastics through the driving rain. I still haven't got my level 6 badge but I'm trying.

After supper I had no more TV allowance left so carried on with my superhero costume (he's going to have weather powers) and went through all the coloured pens weeding out the deadies. See, you can have fun even though you're missing out on Phineas and Ferb, which was recommended to me by Ben and the JBs last week: I am giving it a go.