Yellow Plums? I think there's an app for that

Wednesday Park has become a moveable feast by arrangement with the Puddle Collective. Ben wanted to use Yellow Plum Park so I shall get on my bike and move it move it.

There has still been no arrest in the coat-in-the-crapper case. Mrs Cragg says if we haven't found out by tomorrow, we'll vote on someone and crucify them.

We got to Yellow Plum Park in some quite cold mist and immediately recognised Ingrid who was in my class last year but moved schools. We played a bit but when Ben got back from the toilet at her house and the JBs joined us, it all got a bit laddish for her so she went. We of course played Lego Hero Attack (maximum 5 lives each) and left Ben's friend Lewis to play on his own.

Ben didn't sing any "We are sexy boys" songs but we did have a bit of an argument about who was going to be Captain and who the Leader (not the same thing).

Some of the plum trees (whether yellow or purple is unknown at this point) are climbable so we tried that and waving our big sticks at each other and swordfighting.

From the corner of the park you can reach what looks like a mushroom farm at the back of Ben's school so we tried to pull the fence down, batter it with concrete, excavate a foxhole beneath it, climb it etc, all while some teachers were eyeing us suspiciously from the staff room.

The whole area was full of prickles and brambles so in the end we all thought retreat was preferable to death and glory. I have some experience of unseen school infiltration so advised running away - after all, they knew exactly who Ben and Lewis are, it's not like we're an anonymous renegade gang from the other side of town.

Right at the end BensMum called a photoshoot and we all started swearing in Japanese - apparently this just means sticking your little finger out (like little wiener) so we all got to do that all the way home without getting told off.