The Dairyman's Daughter

Today we had an invite from one of Jof's workfriends to go to the Isle of Wight and be driven to distraction and Blackgang Chine.
Katie is a twin, so one of a kind and she's liked me for years for the way I serve alcoholic drinks efficiently. We caught the Hovercraft which was exceedingly expensive but we did meet Erin on board: we often meet familiar faces but not always in the seat in front.
Katie met us and drove us to the Dairyman's Daughter which is a Pub but surrounded by a shopping complex with crafts and glassblowing and crystal-gazing and specialist leather goods and I expect Erinsmum would have as much trouble leaving as Jof did.
Even ham, egg and chips was a belly-buster. We played on the antique arcades and I shook hands with Uncle Sam, although I could have chosen Merlin.
The Isle of Wight is a Tardis. Not because it has a blue flashing light and a dodgy front door, but because it warps space and time. It is much bigger than you think, and also much of it is stuck in the 17th century.
At Katie's house we met Holly, her dog. We threw the ball with the plastic stick and the elated Labrador bounded off into her own field (much bigger than you think) to retrieve it but when I threw it, I hit the fence and she didn't understand.
Katie drove us all round the houses, and there's another Tardis thing. The distance between houses is far greater. Yes, there are little towns. Also farms. But there's also huge amounts of nothingness, filled only sporadically by sheep.
We had to go most of the day before seeing lambs. Anyway, we found many hills and dales and mountains and cliffs and some of the roads had eroded away and Niton Undercliff is only half there nowadays and we got to Blackgang Chine in daylight.
Last time I was there (2012) it was so foggy the car park attendant waved us in with glow-in-the-dark traffic cones and we nearly got lost and eaten by dubiously animatronic dinosaurs.
I quickly found the pirate ships with water squirters and fought valiantly against others of my height and we did the new metal slides and got lost in the maze and I bought another bag of coloured gemstones in the shop.
Of course, I wanted the expensive gun with leather holster but once you've bought the ammunition as well you're looking at £30 so Jof said not on your Nelly and I got the plastic disposable one for a whole lot less.
Leaving the island at 6-ish, we discovered that 37 years had gone past in a time-warp and Bud was now 58 but he picked us up from the Hoovercraft anyway.