Monday 28 July 2014

Chief Design Engineer of the SexBot 3000

At one o'clock this morning, I was bored of not being able to get to sleep so I asked Bud and he said why not read for 10 minutes. Then Jof came upstairs and it looked like I'd been reading for 3 hours.
Recently I have - like many others of my age - been considering what job to take when I grow up. I like Arnold Schwarzeneggers' approach - simply have big muscles and the job offers flood in, no effort made. And surely those nice tattooed 'Greeters' at the pub door on match days get well paid? But if all that fails I can simply invent the SexBot 3000* for the Japanese market.
lego star wars set with 3 minifigures neimoidian warrior battle droid Jof had one of those riveting appointments called Applying to the Court of Protection for Power of Attorney which is not a special power at all, I just had to sit in the office for ages. Luckily for me, Jof foresaw moaning and had bought me a big complicated Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter thingy. Unluckily, it was just too big and I had to sit there legoless anyway. Luckily, she bought me another one to make up for it. This is how the best collections are made - by bribery and missed opportunity. The 75041 Vulture Droid has a droid-controlled craft with opposable winglets and red shooters and 3 figurines, one of which is a little Bot with a buzz-saw for cutting through the hull of enemy units and severing their control circuits to render them inoperable. The green reptilian bloke (Neimoidian Warrior) seems to have a musket and the pilot Battle Droid fits within on a little articulating manifold. The SexBot 3000 will articulate in 3 dimensions, but won't be as pointy.
Now I practice my guitar with an additional voluntary song. They are mostly about friendship and how the world stops turning when we are apart.
Then we watched Dumbo and Monsters University, as you do. Jof is busy with suitcases.
* In 2048 the SexBot 3000 was released to a suspecting public. It passed the Turing Test and came in both the Incubus and Succubus versions. Factory settings were "I am for you, Captain Kirk" instant imprinting, and in time, it did its bit for population decline.

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